I spoke the truth

I spoke the truth
In a tiny voice,
I spoke the truth
To be told i lied.

I hang my head
in utter shame,
For i spoke the truth,
And you turned away.

I shook my hands,
With a frustrated cry,
Trying to just be heard.
I spoke the truth,
I did not lie.

I was brave,
Though inside i feared,
I spoke the truth,
It was denied.

How can i believe
That i will be safe?
For all is how he said,
I spoke the truth,
No one heard.

Grown and wary,
Weak and weary.
Haunted by what
Cannot ever be undone.

I spoke the truth,
When will i be
Believed?

Homeless

There’s room at the inn,
But I have no money to pay.
The world is cold tonight,
And I have no place to stay.

No I am not lazy,
Nor too awful crazy.
Things just really have not
Been going my way.

My stomach is a growling,
My head has been a spinning,
Yet not a bite can I find
For me to eat.

No jobs available for me to find,
Want a hand up?
must be outta my mind.

There’s room at the inn,
But I’ve no money to pay.

Distorted imagery

You see me
As internet celebrity,
With no sign of lifestyle
Truth in chains.
Not one person
Really knowing me,
Hidden behind an easy profile.
According to you,
Written with naught
But imagination and lies.

Could it be?
that it’s you who
doesn’t see?
Who does not know
The real me?
quietly hiding,
From what you never
Tried to see.
Deeply imbedded
Within us.

Oh boy. A b topic i forgot

     That would be back aches and spasms. I have a crapton of house work to do and am in too much pain to do anything.  Even writing hurts.   So….hopefully tomorrow i will be able to squeeze in some writing time.  Its my girls birthday so i will be spending as much time with her(and making cake pops for her birthday)  as possible. Add in the back issues and i may be crying before the end of tomorrow.

Rudeness

                I live in a three story apartment complex. There is four apartments per floor.  Mostly i can handle the noises around me…except for yesterday.  Yesterday the neighbor in the apartment directly beside me was banging and clanging at the loudest possible way she could till four am.
          While I normally would have assumed it was just a bad night for them,  now i wonder. Everyday it sounds like her kids are running around drawing on the walls.  And I had a visitor today who told me she knocked on my door when I was not home. She said that the kids in the other apartment screamed for her to go away. 
     I try to be polite, as much as I can.  I have taught my daughter to do the same.  However this doesn’t seem to be something people do anymore.  I remember my daughter bumping into someone in a grocery store when she was about six.  The woman looked so shocked because I forced my daughter to apologize. 
      It’s understandable for the kids to be playing.  However letting your kids run ruckus till four in the morning? Letting them yell at people not even knocking at your door?  I believe that manners are dying a slow death.  I mourn the fact that rude has become the new normal.

Not everyone is rude.

I was reading a local message board online. I do this to help me understand the goings on in my community. However sometimes this really is a bad thing. I end up feeling less social because i see such unkindness out in the word.  A lady was posting how she felt the christmas season had ended and the hate had returned. I think i agree with her as her posts comments made me feel the hate. She posted that her son was trying to help someone and accidentally bumped into someone else. The person he bumped into responded “Don’t Touch Me!” Okay, in his place, if a stranger bumped into me, my first response would have been the same. It’s hard to tell what kind of life that man has lived, so no way of knowing if there are legitimate reasons for his reaction or not.

Normally I would not have done more than shake my head at such a story. An outraged mother thinking her son had been rudely treated. I can see why she was so mean about the encounter. However, there was fifteen responses. All were horrible. People calling him names, and there was even one wishing harm on this poor unfortunate. I was floored. After all, in his place i would have done the same. Not because i was rude…Because with my anxieties and all that i have been through, I don’t handle strangers touching me well. I struggle to react normally when i am in a hugely filled public place…But there are days where it is unavoidable.

Is there no compassion in the world anymore? Could the woman not have merely been proud that she had taught her son to show kindness? Did it not occur to any of the fifteen people who responded that perhaps it was not rudeness, merely an automatic response born of any number of possible reasons? These questions arise and make me sorry for humanity. It feels as if we are losing the kindness and becoming something nasty and cruel. I don’t care if it makes me weird. I refuse to assume the worst of people. I just wish it was a more common trait.