Category: struggle

Pad Day 4 and rambles

Today’s Prompt was a fill in the blank. “In the (Blank)”. Those that are my facebook friends have seen me trying to do to-do lists the last few days. They are never long…usually four or five items…but it wears me out. So I am fighting exhaustion and trying to celebrate my wins.

The laundry is caught up.

Dishes are nearly there.

Bathrooms are clean. (Well the two that I can get to)

The laundry room is clean.

All the clothes are folded…not put away yet, but folded.

My bedroom is halfway there.

Joe’s room is clean.

I have finished Layout on all but one of the Kid’s books for kid’s week(The final one is waiting on the illustrator. He had a cord malfunction and couldn’t send in the art yet. Poor guy)

I have started getting preorders set up for the kid’s week books. *Links will be in a post on the Fae Corps blog when I finish the getting of the preorder links….

I have written a poem a day for everyday in November so far and got a little bit of a word count in Sea Wytch.

I did my grocery shopping for November. And came in under budget.

I have started my christmas shopping.

I made it to therapy.

I have remembered my medicine over half of the time…(I set another set of reminders on my phone…seriously the only reason I remember to eat half of the time is the dizzy feeling I get when I forget.)

I have stayed Hydrated…

See I am killing this…even if there are days when my body says I am killing me. I created a to-do list for self care. So far it has morning and night meds, and art…(Therapist said art was self care!)

What did you do today? Let us celebrate the win together.

Artsy Fartsy Thursday

Artsy Fartsy Let’s Discuss art

Was working on formatting a children’s book about mermaids and it made me want to do art…

Artsy Fartsy Thursday

Artsy Fartsy Let’s Discuss art

A digital flower from my phone as I am still trying to recover from my cold. Enjoy.

Whelp, it’s Wednesday

I know that this is becoming a habit. I will be getting back to the webcomics next week. I am nearly over this damn cold. I appreciate your patience.

I oopsed

So…when I am scheduling the blog for the week I often use the duplicate blog option to get the right settings for each. I ended up deleting last week’s Thursday post. It was the one about my new drawing tablet. I didn’t delete it on purpose. Technical difficulties y’all.

Whelp, it’s Wednesday

I still have a cold. I am trying to get my creative juices flowing regardless of the sinuses and the other symptoms. (Hence why I did a penguin, I feel like a penguin.) I have made it through half of the week… I am scheduling tomorrow and Friday. Making it at least to Wednesday feels like an accomplishment. I have been doing some uploading to DeviantArt this week as well. (New phone has more space so I have the app…it makes me more likely to visit the site….) I have been doing less on Facebook and spending time on Tumblr. I still am reachable on all of my social media sites but I think that I spent too much time with Facebook and now I need to spread my time around. It should be less toxic for me to embrace the way each social media site works for shorter periods of time.

Monday Poetry

Sick day Sunday

Last week I said that I was going to try to be more responsible with my own blog… the more observant among you have noticed that I have not been posting the drawings for the past two days. The weather changes and my crappy immune system equals I am sick. It is not life threatening but it is bad enough that I am barely out of the bed today. I am hoping to be able to do some periodic posts this week instead of the scheduled stuff… mostly because I feel like warmed over death at the moment. My sinuses are driving me nuts and I am so going back to bed. Peace out y’all.

Artsy Fartsy Thursday

Artsy Fartsy Let’s Discuss art

This is the piece that caused me all the emotional drama earlier. I was trying to show a caterpillar with a transformation of a butterfly attached. The feedback is that it looks like the butterfly is pooping. Yes. yes, it does. And now that will forever be what the transformation is. SHIT. Thanks.

However I made myself attempt another piece because I was honestly ready to delete the piece, the program and all. I needed to make myself work past the hurt and the disgust with what I had created to try to figure out creation again.

Time to begin again

Let me preface this by saying that I don’t know what I am changing yet…if anything. I am entering a little bit of a restructuring of my own life and social media. I still plan on being here. I am still me. However, I recently broke ties to a friend of over a decade. This has been coming for the past year. It should surprise no one.

I don’t know if I have anything to change, however a decade of shared speces and shared faces means that I at the very least have to consider the change… and the backlash it will have on the people around me. Though I share easily my life here, I don’t feel like I should be pointing fingers at others and writing their sins. What is toxic to me may not be to them. We can each only tell our own truth… whatever that may be.

I do post on social media vague rants and those who are close to me can figure it out…but I don’t point fingers. I don’t feel like it is my place to call someone out. It is my place to try and work through my own emotions and my reaction to the situation. Hence why I vague post. They are my way to work through the issue. Comments end up helping me to see if I am way out in left field or missing something.

Right now I am feeling grief. I am processing it. I am pulling myself away from the shared spaces. I am also refusing to allow my grief to stop the forward motion of Fae Corps. She requested that her books be pulled. She has decided to cut the ties completely. I think that is probably the best idea, as I will continue to get hurt otherwise. She left me feeling like I am hard to love, and hard to get along with. That is my responsibility to deal with.

I am back to dealing with this blog and the Fae Corps blog. I spent all day Sunday getting it dealt with, and I am determined to keep my blog from falling behind. Maybe I will have an easier time doing so with my mind not distracted by the issues I was facing.