Category: relationships

Body positivity

                This topic is one i fully support.  Now understand,  even though i am a big girl,  it’s all bodies and body types i think we need to be positive of. No one should feel ugly for not fitting a certain body type. Unfortunately,  as a society,  we fail our children.  We teach them to worry about appearance far more than we should.  There is starting to be a movement that is helping.  Tess Holiday and her #effyourbeautystandards. However many see it as a fat positive movement.   While yes it is, it is also about beauty in all forms.  It’s about no longer judging anyone based on appearance alone. My daughter is twelve.  She is chubby.  And so I have had to work hard to have her with a good self esteem.  She really is beautiful.

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  However because of the beauty standards of others,  she doesn’t feel like she is. So yes,  as a woman,  as a mother of a beautiful girl,  I really like the body positive movement.  Every body has flaws. Every body is beautiful.  It’s really all in how you look at it.

Parenting & Media

                 Before I climb any soap box, I am a mother.  I am not perfect.  I firmly believe each child and each family are different.  So even though my daughter is twelve,  we allow her some media  (movies,  shows, music, books   and video games)  that is probably not “age appropriate .” She is more mature is some areas than others. So if the rating is for violence or vulgarity,  I don’t worry about her. Her whole life,  I have kept a close rein on what she watched.  She has had leeway to choose. 
                  She chooses horror,  zombies and anime, hard rock, and rpg(shooter style).  We talk to her. She understands that these are not reality. So we do tend to be less restrictive. I try to guide her towards intelligent programs.  Towards a love of music that encompasses all music.  Towards an open mind where media is concerned. I have succeeded and failed.  After all, her father and her friends are influences as well.
                        The reason i am rambling,  there have been a few instances where I have been accused of not being a good parent because I  let her watch anime and play certain video games.  I believe my child should have a chance to make her own choices ( to an extent). I keep away stuff that is heavily sexual.  Blatantly sexual is more than i think she is ready for. I have forbidden only a couple of video games( gta5, south park stick of truth)  and I don’t forbid music or books( most books with questionable content are still above her reading interest level for now ).
                Very few shows are disallowed( got, banahee…basically stuff you would see on hbo, showtime or cinemax…) and it’s only if sex is open and blatant.  Mind you not all kids are as mature as her. Some see violent or scary and have nightmares.  She does not. 
                  Really parenting is as much about knowing what will and will not be appropriate for your child as it is teaching them how to live.  People who take their kids and let them watch a movie then complain about the content just ruin it for everyone. Know your kids,  and be aware of what you are letting them be exposed to. It’s not that hard.

Birthdays

    Isn’t life funny? As a child,  a birthday is very magical day.  It’s always a milestone.  However,  with age, we stop seeing birthdays with as much glee. I think it’s tied to gifts and responsibilities. 
           Growing old should be more about becoming wise. Still as an adult it’s often a lonely day where we wonder where happened to us. Another day around the sun. We look at what we have accomplished,  and many of us feel bad. I want the wonder back. 
           I really couldn’t care about the gifts,  or lack of. But i would like a day where i don’t look in the mirror and see a failure,  for my lack of meeting some grand accomplishment goal. A day where growing older just feels like i am growing wiser. I am glad my daughter is still young enough to relish her birthday. I hope she never loses the magic of it.

Disorganized, headache.

    Today has been a busy day.  I have been doing chores.( still have many to do tomorrow.)   And all i have wanted was to make jewelry. Problem is i have had a sleepover with three twelve year old girls.  Recently.  And haven’t had a chance to reorganize my craft supplies since.  I am quite fond of crafting.  I really love making jewelry.  To me it’s another art form. So the chores cut into it, and being disorganized really didn’t help. So tomorrow among the chores,  is a craft organization.  So, though i know i have a new list of topics,  i may be Wednesday before i update.  And as Thursday is the birthday of a very important twelve year old…. i will be overly busy until next week.  I am not saying this to make excuses.  I am only explaining, so that the blogs i squeeze in will actually be seen as what they are. Me going above and beyond what i see as my possibilities,  to write.

Allowance

     How does one teach a child how to use money?  By giving them an allowance,  of course.  It has always been curious to me as to how to decide how much to pay your kids.  I chose $1 a day for my daughter.  And if she misbehaves then in can cost between a quarter to a full day worth.  Yet,  I find myself wondering if it actually prepares her for deal with money.  After all she doesn’t have bills. 
        I have seen parenting pages that speak of working it more like a job.  Assigning a cost for their chores. This is an option but I feel like that makes chores less responsibility and more a job.  So then you need another method of teaching responsibility.
         So I am always looking for the best when it comes to raising my girl.  And so far,  I haven’t found a better way of dealing with allowance.  For now,  it’s money so she can have a measure of independent thought and learn at least a little lesson on handling money.