My youngest child is in the process of moving into their own house. I am so torn. They are 20 and ready to do this but I worry about it. Add in the fact that I have had a child to worry about since I was 14 and I find myself with no children to make decisions about…I am going through a lot of emotions that I don’t know what to do with.
Serena’s poem this week came from a news story about a child being drowned by their own parent. it’s not an uncommon story…but I’m getting tired and old. I have never been able to understand what drives a parent to kill their kids. I don’t understand why parents abuse their own child either. I have had some issues where I have made mistakes but I am not talking about that. I am talking about the ones that purposely hurt the kids. I don’t understand why.
Innocence is not a reason to hurt. If you can’t handle kids don’t have any. Some people just should not be parents.
In the moment when you seek a reprieve from your own mind or the uneasiness of your own skin… that is when regrets sneak in.
The emotional toll is heavy indeed, for regrets are weighty when the soul is most in need of relief.
*Poet’s Note…Though I have been Keeping up with the PAD Challenge…I failed to post yesterday. I apologize. My Daughter is very ill, and I have been trying to keep up. I was at the ER most of the Day yesterday.
My daughter is actually too smart for my own good.
We were having a conversation and she got slightly aggravated with me. I know she probably phrased it slightly differently but the gist of what she said was that she had heard me tell her father that I don’t see him as the villain, and I don’t want him to be my hero. Her question was “well why the hell not? who rescues you?”
I don’t know how to explain to her that I don’t want to be rescued. I am my own hero…. and I tried to tell her that. She said that she had never seen me choose myself over them. I have always chosen the best for her and him. She said she didn’t understand. I chose the best for the best part of my life. How do I even begin to explain it?
She is my whole world. Don’t get me wrong, I love my other two children but I didn’t get to raise either of them… and then add in the two miscarriages I had before her. I can’t have any more children. I wanted a house full when I was younger. I found having her was enough.
She always seems to know what to say and when I just need her to be around. She has such a delightful eclectic taste in music and an artistic bent. She is so empathetic and she has a definite view of the world.
So, she is my whole reason to want to be a better person. And she gets mad at me for not being selfish.
I wanted Halloween Music. I came across this List.
I love it. When I had searched for the same sort of thing on Movies…Well I found I was disappointed in the list. Scary movies most of these are not…at least not to me. Boyfriend says I am desensitized.
He might be right. I was reading horror books back in elementary school – like real ones. Steven King and the like. My parents did not limit what I read. (I was reading College level by time I hit 4th grade.)
I remember being scared by some really well written stories.
And My imagination is far richer than most movies.
So, I end up being disappointed by the movies because they can not live up to the full richness of the stories in my head. I get people who get mad at me when I say that I am not a video person…because the shows rarely are worth the time I have to spend away from my books.
And I have no way to explain that without sounding strange. I love music. I love books. Movies and television however often disappoints.
Old radio programs and Theater shows are amazing however…
Day 12 prompt (my daughter asked me to draw a chibi her) I am terrible at chibi. The bottom is the first one I drew. The second one is more “chibi” and honestly looks more like her.
I love all sorts. Today I am going to introduce you to one of my favorites.
Give me the Brain. You pay $4 get a pdf and print some cards. it’s neat as all get out. this is how I did it. The game is so fun. the concept is you are zombies running a restaurant. There is one brain between you. Some tasks require the brain to do. some don’t. The winner is the one who ends up with no cards.
There is a version of cards already made on Amazon…But I like my printed cards best. We went and had them laminated. Found a fake brain at the dollar tree that we keep with it and a six sided dice. (You need the dice) It has been hours of fun for us.
A single game usually takes around 15-20 minutes to play and can be anywhere from 2-10 players with no problems. The flavor text on the cards are a source of humor…and it really is good clean family friendly fun. (we got the deck when my daughter was around six. She loves it.)
Pattimouse 