Perspective unique

                                                         I have been learning a lot about who I am and who I have been simply by talking to my twelve year old daughter.  She sees things in a very straight forward way. She asks questions about life and especially about the parts of human nature that often confuses her. Her questions are occasionally embarrassing and often thought provoking. For years I fumbled through life because I was more worried about how people saw me or the way people would react to me to allow myself the freedom of being completely comfortable in my own skin. I kept my secrets; My religion,  my sexuality,  my survival to myself. 

                                                        Part of the reason was because I was afraid. I spoke of my abuse. I was called a liar. I was told I was crazy. A heart can only handle so many blows before it closes itself off. Then as I grew older,  I found that I cared less. I surrounded myself with supporters who didn’t care about those things which seemed so bad before. That helped.  

                                                                                           I lost the innocence my daughter has too soon. I grew cynical because I needed a defense. I still clung to my desires to be a dreamer, even as I lived in a world made of nightmares. I used the ability to read to bury myself in places where the pain was not mine. I used the ability to write to speak with impunity my fear and struggle.  After all, my poems didn’t have to be what I was.  At twelve,  I tried to run away from home for the second time.  For my daughter,  home is where she is certain of the fact that she is loved.  I am proud of that fact. She still has many of the issues I had in dealing with her peers. She is very mature for her age, so she doesn’t understand conversation topics that amuse them. Also she has the same lack of filter I do. If it is on her mind, she speaks it. Yet for all that we are alike,  her mind is far quicker than mine.  She has a  brilliant sense of humor and more self confidence than I ever did.

Personal safety

                In a time of such marvelous inventions coming out,  I am appalled by how many are designed to protect women from assault. Now don’t misunderstand. I am not saying women should be raped. I am not saying that the inventions are bad. I merely am appalled by the need for such items. I am a survivor.  So I taught my children personal space and responsibility.  I taught my son to respect women.  I taught my daughter that her body is hers, and no one has the right to touch her without her permission. Yet, I know that there are people out there who would anyway. It kills me to know that someday she will not be safe. I am allowed the sadness that the world is not a safe place.  I asked her what she would do if someone tried to grab her, tried to force her to do things against her will, and my beautiful twelve year old girl said ” I will kick him in the leg, then the nuts and I will scream! ” While crass, it feels good to know she won’t be a easy target. She doesn’t separate.  If it’s someone she knows who tries to force her to do things or a stranger. Her body is hers. And I have made sure she knew it.  I cannot help wondering if more children of both genders were taught that concept how the statistics of sexual assault and abuse would be? After all abusers seduce.  They convince the child that even though the child is not comfortable with what is being done,  that it is something the abuser is allowed to do. I mourn the need for the devices to “prevent ” sexual assault because I believe that if as children we are taught not to do or allow certain behavior… well as adults it wouldn’t happen. At least not as often.  The ones who did at that point would be seen as deviants.  They would then be treated as the criminals that they are.

Genetics or something else?

                   I am a poet first and a writer second.  I just do better with poetry than I do with stories.  I am not bad at stories,  just better with poems.  Now there is a reason I state that. My daughter came home and was asking about poetry.  She has no patience with writing stories. So I was helping her with her poetry for English class. At this point I was tickled to find out that she enjoys writing poetry.  Mind you I have had three children.  My eldest has written one beautiful poem. Then he allowed his own self doubt to keep him from writing.  My middle one (who due to situations I refuse to explain here was given up for adoption at birth ) writes wonderful poetry.  I am so tickled that the three of them have shown such talent.  It actually got me thinking.  What do we pass on in our genetics?  My children are all taller than I.  None of them look exactly like me. My daughter looks the closest.  There is personality traits that all of them possess that I have.  So that leaves me curious.  What do you think we pass on in our genetics?

Day twenty four

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Hmmm something I miss… cartoons.  Saturday mornings with cereal and early morning cartoons. The cartoons of today really are subpar. I have tried to introduce my daughter to the cartoons of my childhood,  but to be honest,  it really saddens me that cartoons are no longer like that.

Day fifteen

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To be honest this took actual thought. Quite a bit of thought.  Not much really irritates me…I am something of an easygoing person.  I even asked those who know me best to get a feel for what I would be perceived as having as a pet peeve.  My daughter figures my pet peeve (once I explained the term ) was her misbehaving and disrespecting me. I really don’t think of her random teenage moments (as she is actually a really good kid) as being worth counting as my pet peeve.  I am just her mother.  That means I hide the amusement when she is acting as stubborn as she does.  My boyfriend of twenty years just I don’t knowed at me….so I must not really have one that stands out to him. My sister told me it was stupid people. Okay uhm…yeah.  I really have issues with those who are purposely ignorant or hurtful. So my pet peeves list is a total of one… that’s not bad. 
                 What’s yours?  And why?

Rainy days and Sick Mondays

I woke up aching all over. Now my daughter had it yesterday. So I figure it may just be a spring cold. Then I look out the window….Ugh. It is a dreary rainy day. It would certainly not be the first time my body reacted to the weather. Today every little thing has been setting off my anxieties. So here I am, a true mess. Instead of getting anything accomplished…I have been aching and bellyaching. I think today will just be a wash. However I am refusing to let the rain and dreary knock me down. I am making homemade chicken pizza (From dough i froze a couple of weeks ago) to pick up the spirits of my angel and I. Then after dinner dishes i will sit and try and write….even if I delete it tomorrow…I think the discipline may help me be a little less anxious.

Dodging the dust today

Some days it feels like I have too many plates spinning. Hence the Picture above. (credit goes to Jim Hunt Illustrations…for the awesome image.)  Today was no exception. Somehow all those various hats….(mother, Writer, adult, Social media guru, blogger, Friend, Girlfriend, cook, gamer, etc, etc) all seemed to fit. I kept moving and I got stuff done. Even found time to watch a favorite movie with my little girl. Somedays it feels like the dust settles over me. creating a blanket. making it hard to move. Not today. Today I wasn’t sitting long enough for the dust to settle. Today I kept on my feet and managed to get things done. I maybe didn’t do as much in crafts as i did in writing, or maybe I was less attentive to this part of my life as I was to that. Still no broken plates. How about you? Any broken plates today? Did the dust settle? If so that is okay. Tomorrow you can try again.

Stress and its cause

I ended up blocking someone on Facebook yesterday. My reasons were simple. Them being in my life was causing me issues. Stress headaches are counterproductive for me. (probably for everyone). Normally this is no big deal and a no brainer. However this one was a big deal, this one hurt. She is the mother of my grandson. She has a habit of moving him around and keeping my son from knowing where he is. Now don’t get me wrong my son is not blameless in the whole mess. He has been lax in sending in support (because he was unemployed and looking for a job). Still my grandson is autistic. And in his three years of life she has moved ten times. So I worry because she is making it worse for the baby, and then instead of allowing his family at least contact, she uses him to play mind games. I cannot handle them anymore.  So I finally had enough and blocked her. It was painful and not an easy decision. Unfortunately because my son is still involved in it I know she is still playing the mind games, claiming that my son is trying to take her child away simply because he is worried about his son. I really hope she eventually realizes how badly she is hurting her son. I hope she realizes before doing any permanent harm to her son. I wish her luck in life, But I am done. I refuse to play her games and be the mom in the middle. Instead I will live my life and do what makes my life work. Under stress I can’t write. Under stress I can’t be a good mom to my youngest. So for the sake of my world, I have to accept that I can’t help my Grandson. That saddens me.  I hope she straightens up her act up before she ruins his life.

My block list is small. Less than ten in all. I only block if I need to for my own sanity. When I do it is because I can’t deal with the person at all. Why do you block? Or do you?

New Book goes live

My first in a series of stories i started as bedtime stories for my little girl just went live on the Kindle. I am waiting for the review on createspace. so I will post that link when it does. for now….

Here is the link for the Kindle version of Bedtime Tales : The teddy bear picnic.

 

Enjoy!

Getting things done

Trying to juggle so many hats means occasionally dropping a few. One merely tries not to drop the important ones. Mom, Maid, Writer, Artist, Poet, Dreamer, Momo (Happy third birthday Lennon!), Woman, Girlfriend, Sister, Daughter, Business Owner…Blogger, Person,  Feminist….so many titles….And somehow I do okay at juggling them, most of the time. Today I did ok. I felt good about it. Even managed a couple of people giving me ego candy.  Which believe me was sweet.  I uploaded things for sale in my scott’s marketplace shop…I made new items, I handled a sick daughter. I cleaned, I overcame my social anxiety to talk to a person not online. I ate. (for me sometimes that really is award worthy….lol)

So today there were some hats dropped. I  wasn’t able to write today…until now…and so this blog is all the writing I am getting done. Even that is something though. Perhaps  I should be thankful the hats I dropped in the busy day, were not the most important ones.  Which hats do you wear, and how adept are you at juggling them?