Well…I finished writing Queer Verbage which will not release until April…it seems so far away…but it is one less thing I have hanging over me. I can do the formatting and get the stuff done for publishing. I cannot explain why the need to finish it was so strong, but having it done is a weight off. Now I have Tears of the Broken, Dream Drops, Fighting Ignorance, Ocular Dystopia, Occult Madness in progress for me and Chasing Ghosts for Serena. When I mentioned to my Daughter how I felt like I was struggling with it, she said I was pushing too hard. She said that if I worked any harder she would never get to see me. Sorry, she comes first there. But it did make me wonder…what is the right amount? I try to write as I feel the urge, but I also try to set a daily goal so I actually get forward progress on more than just the poetry volumes…because I tend to get easily distracted from my stories. I am aware there is a discipline to this…and I am a child of chaos. So where is the happy medium for me? That is something I am going to be working with over the next few weeks. I need to set me a workable time schedule for writing and work that I can stick to…or at least attempt to. Let’s see how that goes?
It was a tie in the votes… this one and Burning the Candles at both ends.
I asked my boyfriend to choose… and his response gave me what I needed to choose.
He said that Burning is a darker one and this one was lighter. So I should choose based on the poems that I was planning on putting in it.
That is not how I write…
But it got me thinking about my own writing and the upcoming volume. Ok, I have Serena’s Gathered Bones that I can put the dark stuff in. And I am planning on using this one for the November Pad challenge as well as the stuff I write until then…. I am likely to be looking for a new one at the end of November….
So I chose the one that I liked better (and the one that my daughter had voted for) since the votes were equal for the two.
No matter how much I do. No matter what I list as my accomplishments.
I refuse to listen. So I have been in defiance doing art and writing.
Though I see it as flawed…my view of my art and writing always says that there is no reason why anyone would like it…
I have purposely not been allowing my inner voice the ability to take control.
It is an actual fight.
Tonight I am winning.
The art above was done tonight.
Echoes is now 65/70 poems
Serena’s Gathered Bones is at 13/70 poems
Kingdoms of sin got another 500 words tonight.
There is a story started for Fae Corps publishing’s Spring anthology.
And I did another digital landscape.
I have still got work that needs done. Things that are sitting on my desk with a needs attention tag on them…but tonight I was in the wrong headspace for editing and for making sure that things looked their best. Tonight I did my best to create.
Because when you are feeling like you are not enough – MAKE MORE! so I did.
And if it is flawed…well some of the best loved things are flawed. that does not make them loved any less.
Pattimouse 