Digital flowers are relaxing to draw. I feel like I got this one 3d. My self care todo list often gets less than half done because I am terrible at taking care of myself…but I have Art on there as I see doing something artsy every day as a form of self care. This was Saturday’s art. Do you think that art is self care? Why or why not?
Lyrics
Strike first
Make it hurt
When everyone assumes the worst
I never have to say I’m sorry
Spiteful
Ruinous
I’m all things you feared I was
Another villain in your story
You think that I’m a spitfire?
You should
Afraid you’re on my bad side?
That’s good
If I wanted to end you
I could
I could
I’m sinking down
If you only knew how hard it is
For me to climb out
I’m kicking and screaming
But no one can hear me
So what happens now?
The shadows are creeping in
I didn’t ask for
I didn’t ask for this
Cold rage
Hides the shame
Of images I can’t escape
Scars that live under the surface
It’s strange
What I became
When part of me was ripped away
And replaced with something worthless
You think that I’m a spitfire?
You should
Afraid you’re on my bad side?
That’s good
If I wanted to end you
I could
I could
I’m sinking down
If you only knew how hard it is
For me to climb out
I’m kicking and screaming
But no one can hear me
So what happens now?
The shadows are creeping in
I didn’t ask for
I didn’t ask for this
Take what’s left
Of my fractured heart
Bloodstained ’cause
The pieces are so sharp
Take what’s left
Of my fractured heart
Bloodstained ’cause
The pieces are so sharp
I’m sinking down
If you only knew how hard it is
For me to climb out
I’m kicking and screaming
But no one can hear me
So what happens now?
The shadows are creeping in
I didn’t ask for
I didn’t ask for this
Never forget
I didn’t ask for this
My 2 Cents – this time of year is so freaking hard. No one asks for the mental health issues. No one asks for trauma. No one asks for the feeling like they are just unlovable…yet…so many people feel like they are. It costs you nothing to be kind, to be patient.
Lyrics
Put your make up on
Get your nails done
Curl your hair
Run the extra mile
Keep it slim
So they like you, do they like you?
Get your sexy on
Don’t be shy, girl
Take it off
This is what you want, to belong
So they like you, do you like you?
You don’t have to try so hard
You don’t have to give it all away
You just have to get up, get up, get up, get up
You don’t have to change a single thing
You don’t have to try, try, try, try
You don’t have to try, try, try, try
You don’t have to try, try, try, try
You don’t have to try
Yooou don’t have to try
Ohh
Get your shopping on, at the mall, max your credit cards
You don’t have to choose, buy it all
Do they like you? Do they like you?
Wait a second,
Why should you care, what they think of you
When you’re all alone, by yourself
Do you like you? Do you like you?
You don’t have to try so hard
You don’t have to give it all away
You just have to get up, get up, get up, get up
You don’t have to change a single thing
You don’t have to try so hard
You don’t have to bend until you break
You just have to get up, get up, get up, get up
You don’t have to change a single thing
You don’t have to try, try, try, try
You don’t have to try, try, try, try
You don’t have to try, try, try, try
You don’t have to try
You don’t have to try, try, try, try
You don’t have to try, try, try, try
You don’t have to try, try, try, try
You don’t have to try
Yooou don’t have to try
Noooo
Oooh
You don’t have to try so hard
You don’t have to give it all away
You just have to get up, get up, get up, get up
You don’t have to change a single thing
You don’t have to try, try, try, try
You don’t have to try, try, try, try
You don’t have to try
You don’t have to try
Take your make up off
Let your hair down
Take a breath
Look into the mirror, at yourself
Don’t you like you?
Cause I like you
My 2 Cents – Most of you know I spend quite a bit of time on Tiktok…and this has become quite the popular song there. It is such a powerful message. We spend so much of our time trying to be something for the world around us…and often we don’t see the parts of ourselves that are actually worthwhile. I have never had a good view of myself…so I fight to see my own worth. The message here hits.
Lyrics –
Hark, how the bells
Sweet silver bells
All seem to say
“Throw cares away”
Christmas is here
Bringing good cheer (good cheer)
To young and old
Meek and the bold, oh
People sing songs of good cheer
Christmas time is here
Oh, how they pound (oh, how they pound)
Raising the sound (raising the sound)
O’er hill and dale (o’er hill and dale)
Telling their tale (telling their tale)
People sing songs of good cheer (people sing songs of good cheer)
Christmas is here (Christmas time is here)
People sing songs of good cheer
Christmas time is here
My 2 Cents – a lovely seasonal tune.
Lyrics –
Silent Night, Solstice Night,
quiet rest
Till the rest turning the rolling wheel
brings the winter to comfort and heal
rest your spirit in peace
rest your spirit in peace
My 2 Cents – As a pagan I have always loved the songs the Christians have during this time of year but often felt uncomfortable with them because of the religious overtones on them. I love how this does not have the religious overtones, but it has the lovely softness of the carol. The singer is absolutely amazing as well.
So I asked a bit ago for ideas to improve my blog. I had someone choose to send their ideas privately,(Which I am fine with by the way), and I felt the ideas to be brilliant. I have tried to put as many in place as I could. I do not know if I have put them in play completely yet…I am still working on a few of them. It will likely be a work in progress for the next little bit. I am working on getting a routine in place. I want 2023 to be a year where I am organized and have an easier time keeping up with my writing and art. I want the blog to flow without hesitation…I know I don’t work that way…but I am always gonna try.
Those who have followed me for a while know I usually pick a word for each new year. One to be an example for what my goals/plan for the year will be. I think that I will be using a phrase for 2023. My phrase will be “Forward Movement”. The thought is even a baby step is forward movement. I spend too much time beating myself up for stuff that I don’t manage to get done. Things that fall through the cracks. This year I want to focus on the joy of life. The celebration of the things that I do get done. So, I am setting myself up for success.
Lyrics –
The voices in my head keep on telling me to pray
‘Cause I’m spinning like a carousel, circling the drain
Hit the bottom of the bottle, I don’t wanna feel the pain
But that is all I got for now, I don’t wanna talk about it
The voices in my head keep on begging me to stay
If I pull the trigger now then the demons go away
And I know my time is coming so there ain’t no time to waste
So that is all I got for now, I don’t wanna talk about it
The voices in my head keep telling me to choose a side
It’s heaven or hell like it’s do or die
I’m a sad boy, you know better
Please don’t make this last forever
The voices in my head keep telling me I’m not okay
It’s feeling like a hurricane in my brain
Dark clouds, hard times, bad weather
Please don’t make this last forever
The voices in my head keep telling me I’m gonna (die)
And I don’t wanna talk about the drama, I’m trauma (tized)
They’re tellin’ me I’m fine but we both know that’s a fuckin’ (lie)
I’m losing my mind but I don’t wanna talk about it
The voices in my head keep giving me the worst advice
Kamikaze crash like a suicide
I’m a lost boy, you know better
Please don’t make this last forever
The voices in my head keep telling me I’m insane
And maybe I’m a little bit, that won’t change
Dark clouds, hard times, bad weather
Please don’t make this last forever
The voices in my head keep telling me I’m gonna (die)
And I don’t wanna talk about the drama, I’m trauma (tized)
They’re tellin’ me I’m fine but we both know that’s a fuckin’ (lie)
I’m losing my mind but I don’t wanna talk about
The voices in my head keep telling me I’m cursed
I’m paranoid, I don’t wanna make it any worse
We’re all gonna die but first things first
I’ma take the world with me when they put me in the dirt
The voices in my head keep telling me I’m cursed
I’m paranoid, I don’t wanna make it any worse
We’re all gonna die but first things first
I’ma take the world with me when they put me in the dirt
Move
(Move)
Voices in my head keep telling me I’m cursed
I’m paranoid, I don’t wanna make it any worse
We’re all gonna die, first things first
I’ma take the world with me when they put me in the dirt
The voices in my head keep telling me I’m gonna (die)
And I don’t wanna talk about the drama, I’m trauma (tized)
They’re tellin’ me I’m fine but we both know that’s a fuckin’ (lie)
I’m losing my mind but I don’t wanna talk about it
The voices in my head keep on telling me to pray
‘Cause I’m spinning like a carousel, circling the drain
Hit the bottom of the bottle, I don’t wanna feel the pain
I’m losing my mind but I don’t wanna talk about it
My 2 Cents – this is the time of year when mental health is the hardest to deal with. Addiction, family issues, and simply put trauma responses end up making it more than disaster… and then those who are trying to find the way to handle the mental health problems end up feeling like they are to blame for ruining the holidays. You can really never tell what someone else is going through. Be kind, please.
Today the prompt could have worked…but I didn’t feel it. Today was the obligatory form poem/anti form poem prompt. He always puts it in. And I have a volume in development for that…but this was the first poem in Ethereal Dreams… I felt like acknowledging that. Each volume is a new mindset. I have to figure out what this chapter of my life is about. Thoughtcicles was about shock and grief for the changes of self and relationship. A lot of frozen thought and self care. I don’t know what ethereal Dreams is yet.
Also we’re a week into November. This is the month for writing… and I think that a lot of people – myself included – see Nanowrimo as a pass or fail thing way too often. It should be about the setting of a routine, not about the word count. If you can hit that word count daily then awesome, congratulations! But if you can’t don’t get discouraged. Set a time for daily writing and meet that every day. Not all writing is novels. Children’s books are a thing. Those require far less word count. Poetry is still writing. Do a poem a day.(that is what I decided to do) Do not measure your own success by the way that other people write. You are going to have a different way of speaking. Writing is another way of using your voice. Don’t let anyone take your voice from you.
Today’s Prompt was a fill in the blank. “In the (Blank)”. Those that are my facebook friends have seen me trying to do to-do lists the last few days. They are never long…usually four or five items…but it wears me out. So I am fighting exhaustion and trying to celebrate my wins.
The laundry is caught up.
Dishes are nearly there.
Bathrooms are clean. (Well the two that I can get to)
The laundry room is clean.
All the clothes are folded…not put away yet, but folded.
My bedroom is halfway there.
Joe’s room is clean.
I have finished Layout on all but one of the Kid’s books for kid’s week(The final one is waiting on the illustrator. He had a cord malfunction and couldn’t send in the art yet. Poor guy)
I have started getting preorders set up for the kid’s week books. *Links will be in a post on the Fae Corps blog when I finish the getting of the preorder links….
I have written a poem a day for everyday in November so far and got a little bit of a word count in Sea Wytch.
I did my grocery shopping for November. And came in under budget.
I have started my christmas shopping.
I made it to therapy.
I have remembered my medicine over half of the time…(I set another set of reminders on my phone…seriously the only reason I remember to eat half of the time is the dizzy feeling I get when I forget.)
I have stayed Hydrated…
See I am killing this…even if there are days when my body says I am killing me. I created a to-do list for self care. So far it has morning and night meds, and art…(Therapist said art was self care!)
What did you do today? Let us celebrate the win together.
Lyrics –
[Verse 1]
There is no knowing, no showing
Your fragile side
Want to be perfect, untouchable
Like the sky
It’s so misleading, believing
That fear inside
Don’t let the light in, they’ll see it
Behind your eyes
[Chorus]
Way down we go
To the dark room
Where your pain’s the only one to greet you
Down we go
To the mind that
Will deceive you, only out to get you
Down we go
To the bottom
Now there’s only yourself to count on
Down we go
To the dark room
Can you get through all the pain insidе you?
Down we
[Verse 2]
You’re stuck with playing and gaining
Traumatic times
Want to bе stronger, the story
Of your whole life
This kind of reckless seems endless
It comes to fight
So you’re not breathing, just bleeding
Oh, what a sight
[Chorus]
Way down we go
To the dark room
Where your pain’s the only one to greet you
Down we go
To the mind that
Will deceive you, only out to get you
Down we go
To the bottom
Now there’s only yourself to count on
Down we go
To the dark room
Can you get through all the pain inside you?
Down we
[Bridge]
Down we go
To the dark room
Where your pain’s the only one to greet you
Down we go
To the mind that
Will deceive you, only out to get you
Down we
[Chorus]
Way down we go
To the dark room
Where your pain’s the only one to greet you
Down we go
To the mind that
Will deceive you, only out to get you
Down we go
To the bottom
Now there’s only yourself to count on
Down we go
To the dark room
Can you get through all the pain inside you?
Down we
My 2 Cents –
My daughter often introduces me to new music…and it gets stuck in my head. The lyrics on this one really kind of hit for me. What song is stuck in your head and why?
Pattimouse 