Serena’s poem this week came from a news story about a child being drowned by their own parent. it’s not an uncommon story…but I’m getting tired and old. I have never been able to understand what drives a parent to kill their kids. I don’t understand why parents abuse their own child either. I have had some issues where I have made mistakes but I am not talking about that. I am talking about the ones that purposely hurt the kids. I don’t understand why.
Innocence is not a reason to hurt. If you can’t handle kids don’t have any. Some people just should not be parents.
So I didn’t know what to post about today. I was just struggling with the reality of this month…
We had one of our chicken, who are pets go missing. Stray dogs scared her out of the yard. She was seen a block away, injured. She was the second one we have lost this month.
The first one was a baby silkie who got into the duck pool and drowned.
This is after our cat died.
So, this was a really rough month for me and my family.
I had posted in the local Facebook group that we were looking for her(the chicken). She has been missing five days today. We are facing the idea that she’s gone. Well Tuesday I got a message saying that a black chicken was wandering loose two blocks in the other direction.
My child is heartbroken at the loss of their baby. So dad and I went to check it out. We found a pair of loose chickens. They were not willing to be in the coop. Their owners were willing to give them to us if we could catch them.
Of the two we brought one home and the other one is supposed to be caught and given to us today.
Now the new one is peanut and is setting in well. I swear she purred the whole way home.
First… I did the annual poetry marathon this past weekend. I signed up for the half marathon and I wrote more than I signed up to do. I was rather pleased with that.
Next, Fae corps publishing is in the process of creating – taking on? – an imprint. I don’t have a whole lot I can tell you about it yet… But it’s actually really close to being a thing.
Next, I was invited to try to write a story (Serena) that is for a really interesting anthology. That doesn’t mean that they are going to accept the story. Just that I am allowed to try for the call. It is entirely out of my normal wheelhouse writing wise. I have until November to write it and I have it halfway done. It has been flowing. I am terrified. But I am writing it anyway.
And the last update for the post is that I do realize that I accidentally scheduled the Tuesday Tunes post last week for the wrong time. It went up at six pm instead of six am. I am grateful for your patience. I will try to be more careful this week.
34 felony counts and still allowed to be the republican nominee for president. He cannot even vote but he could be elected president?
40+ Anti trans bills – just in Missouri.
And that was just what filtered through social media.
There was more but I am trying to not bring others down to the level I am finding myself. I don’t like what humanity is becoming.
The urge to become the witch in the woods grows greater with each passing day.
So I have buried myself in books. Reading because I have been unable to write all week. Instead of Artsy fartsy thursday I think I will tell you about the three lovely books I have gotten to read recently.
When you feel that rage (When you feel that) When you feel that rage
We’re the underdogs roaming in the dark We’re the savages born from worlds apart Our past has shown just how we bleed A blind future in front of me Lost and fractured to the point of break
So come and play with that rage (that rage) Light a match and reignite the flames (the flames) This ain’t the end, we’re here to stay We rush into the unknown Fearless and brave So don’t throw it away (that rage) Won’t stop until sweet victory
We’ve been working towards the goal for most our lives Every challenge that we faced, we have survived Our confidence is growing everyday Finally it is our time to reign
Our past has shown just how we bleed A blind future in front of me Lost and fractured to the point of break
So come and play with that rage (that rage) Light a match and reignite the flames (the flames) This ain’t the end, we’re here to stay We rush into the unknown Fearless and brave So don’t throw it away (that rage) Won’t stop until sweet victory
We’re the underdogs roaming in the dark We’re the savages born from worlds apart And now I know that this is just the start We will fight for everything we are RAGE, that RAGE (when you feel that rage, when you feel that) RAGE, that RAGE (when you feel that rage, when you feel that) Rage (that rage) Light a match and reignite the flames (the flames) This ain’t the end, we’re here to stay We rush into the unknown Fearless and brave So don’t throw it away (that rage) Won’t stop until sweet victory We will go down in history So come and play with that rage (that rage)
My 2 Cents –
too many people consider Rage as a variety of anger. Rage is so much more. and at the same time is. Rage is unconscious, uncontrollable, the first instinct when we get backed into a corner…. and yes it is anger, but it is also so much more.
I was once told that I should not be angry about the abuse that I suffered… I was told that I should forgive.
Anger is a safety mechanism. forgiving allows you to forget about the pain caused. It means letting go of righteous pain. that righteous pain built me into the person that I am. it made me empathetic, it made me kind, and it made me aware of the people that exist in this world who are going to hurt others.
I spent my birthday awake…for 28 total hours. Awake. Then I crashed and was allowed to sleep for twelve…woke up feeling sick.(not used to that much sleep at any given time.)
So…That was a fun experience. I was surrounded by love..
I even got writing done, and cover creation – though I was told I should not because I will likely not be able to write all the volumes I have covers for now. You know what? I am too old to be told what to do. I will create covers for books till I die. Because I love doing it.
I wake up every morning with my head up in a daze I’m not sure if I should say this, fuck, I’ll say it anyway Everybody tries to tell me that I’m going through a phase I don’t know if it’s a phase, I just wanna feel okay, yeah
I battle with depression, but the question still remains Is this post-traumatic stressing or am I suppressing rage? And my doctor tries to tell me that I’m going through a phase Yeah, it’s not a fucking phase, I just wanna feel okay, okay?
Yeah, I struggle with this bullshit every day And it’s probably ’cause my demons simultaneously rage It obliterates me, disintegrates me, annihilates me
‘Cause I’m about to break down, I’m searching for a way out I’m a liar, I’m a cheater, I’m a non-believer I’m a popular, popular monster I break down, falling into love now with falling apart I’m a popular, popular monster
I think I’m going nowhere like a rat trapped in a maze Every wall that I knock down is just a wall that I replace I’m in a race against myself, I try to keep a steady pace How the fuck will I escape if I never close my case?
Oh my God, I keep on stressing, every second that I waste Is another second sooner to a blessing I won’t take But my therapist will tell me that I’m going through a stage Yeah, it’s not a fucking stage, I just wanna feel okay, okay
Motherfucker, now you got my attention I need to change a couple things ’cause something is missing And what if I were to lie? Tell you everything is fine Every single fucking day I get closer to the grave, I am terrified
I fell asleep at the wheel again Crashed my car just to feel again It obliterates me, disintegrates me, annihilates me
‘Cause I’m about to break down, I’m searching for a way out I’m a liar, I’m a cheater, I’m a non-believer I’m a popular, popular monster I break down, falling into love now with falling apart I’m a popular, popular fucking monster
Yeah, here we go again, motherfucker, oh We’re sick and tired of wondering Praying to a god that you don’t believe We’re searching for the truth in the lost and found So the question I ask is Oh, where the fuck is your god now?
‘Cause I’m about to break down, I’m searching for a way out I’m a liar, I’m a cheater, I’m a non-believer I’m a popular, popular monster I break down, falling into love now with falling apart I’m not a popular, popular monster
I’m a liar, I’m a cheater, I’m a non-believer I’m a popular, popular monster
My 2 Cents –
There is something awful about this process. That loss of faith. In God, In community, In Self. And it is worse when you are being told that there is something wrong with you at the same time. There is not a damn thing wrong with being a monster. Be a monster, be yourself, Be Unique (10 points if you know where that is from)
Pattimouse 