Well I’m an axegrinder piledriver Mother says that I never never mind her Got no brains I’m insane Teacher says that I’m one big pain I’m like a laser 6-streamin’ razor I got a mouth like an alligator I want it louder More power I’m gonna rock ya till it strikes the hour
Bang your head! metal health’ll drive you mad Band your head! metal health’ll drive you mad
Well I’m frustrated Outdated I really want to be over-rated I’m a finder and I’m a keeper I’m not a loser and I ain’t no weeper I got the boys to make the noise Won’t ever let up Hope it annoys you Join the pack Fill the crack Well now you’re here There’s no way back
My Two Cents- Today is a bad communication day for me. I was trying to figure out a good song for the post. I told Joe that I felt like I needed to bang my head against the desk because of how hard it was to communicate. He said that I had my song…yeah I guess I did. So join me in Banging my head with happy instead of frustration,
I normally schedule my blog posts on Sunday for the week…and when I don’t I end up with the posts for the week not going up. I don’t intend it, it just happens that way. Well, the next two weeks are wrought with Stress due to an upcoming court situation. (My boyfriend has been trying to get his disability, and I am worried for him. It is not my court day but that often does not excuse the stress we feel when someone we care about is facing a major event.) So I cannot promise how well I will be doing until after the 30th. I am going to schedule this week today…or try to. I am having trouble with a stress headache today. So I thank you for your patience if I am less posty for the next two weeks. It is been much of the reason why March has been spotty. I have been writing and doing the work for Fae Corps to get the books out…but my poor blog has been too much to deal with sometimes. That is something I am trying to work on. I may end up just posting poetry and art this week instead of trying to keep my daily themes going.
So I haven’t been around. Not surprised if you noticed. There has been a lot of activity in my life. Changes that have caught me by the throat. I don’t plan on bleeding those changes all over my blog, it would just open wounds that are starting to close. However, I am going to still be on hiatus a short while longer. It started with a nasty bout of bronchitis and then some nasty emotional baggage. I am slowly unpacking the baggage and starting to put things away. I think I will give myself grace through the month of December and start 2022 fresh. I need this time to deal with the mess that I got myself into. This time of year often ends me up with an emotional downside that I have been at a loss to prevent.
For me that means I will continue to work on myself and the issues that have arisen in my life. For you it merely means I am asking for patience. January will see more poetry, art, and discussion of the foibles of life that my blog has come to present on a regular basis. I thank you for the patience and I wish you all the best of holidays.
I’m sorry but your story isn’t adding up Think your religion is a lie to keep my mouth shut So I won’t testify the crimes you’re keeping score of Why don’t you throw me to the wolves? I thought you were one You were standing there like an angry god Counting out my sins just to cross them off Saying that my tongue was too loud to trust And that my blood couldn’t keep you My dear, you’re not so innocent You’re fooling Heaven’s gates So you won’t have to change You’re no saint, you’re no savior Your revelations don’t look nothing like the pictures You read between the lines and don’t stick to the scriptures You only follow rules if others follow with you That doesn’t sound so holy only playing victim You were standing there like an angry god Counting out my sins just to cross them off Saying that my tongue was too loud to trust And that my blood couldn’t keep you My dear, you’re not so innocent You’re fooling Heaven’s gates So you won’t have to change You’re no saint, you’re no savior So keep your judgment for someone else, I’ve had enough And keep your judgment for someone else, I’ve had enough So keep your judgment for someone else, I’ve had enough And keep your judgment for someone else, I’ve had enough My dear, you’re not so innocent You’re fooling Heaven’s gates So you won’t have to change You’re no saint, you’re no savior
My 2 Cents – I get so aggravated at judgmental people. You can only judge yourself for your own actions. You cannot judge another for you are not in their shoes.
Oh, oh Oh, oh I should be living the dream But I’m livin’ with a security team And that ain’t gonna change, no I got a paranoia in me And you wouldn’t believe Everything that I seen, no Comin’ apart at the seams And no one around me knows Who I am, what I’m on Who I’ve hurt and where they’ve gone I know that I’ve done some wrong But I’m tryna make it right To the one I love, paint me wrong Give me a light now (Oh-oh) You know that I love you But I’m still learnin’ to love myself (To love my, to love my, to love my) I’m still learnin’ to love myself (To love my, to love my, to love my) Yeah, yeahI should be livin’ the dream But I go home and I got no self-esteem (No) You think I’m swimmin’ in green But it’s passed around my family tree No man wants to really commit Intimidated ’cause I get paid and shit In the crowd, you’re readin’ my lips But no one around me knows Who I am, what I’m on Who I’ve hurt and where they’ve gone I know that I’ve done some wrong But I’m tryna make it right The same mistakes on and on To all my friends, I’m sorry for You know that I love you But I’m still learnin’ (I’m still learnin’) to love myself (To love my, to love my, to love my) Yeah, yeah I’m still learnin’ (I’m still learnin’) to love myself (To love myself) (To love my, to love my, to love my) Yeah, yeah (Oh, oh) Oh, I try and I try to remember sometimes If I breathe, it’s alright, but some things don’t change I’m still learnin’ (I’m still learnin’) to love myself (To love myself) (To love my, to love my, to love myself) Who I am, what I’m on Who I’ve hurt and where they’ve gone I know that I’ve done some wrong But I’m tryna make it right To the one I love, paint me wrong Give me a light now (To the ones I love) To the ones I love I’m still learnin’ to love myself (To love my, to love my, to love my) Yeah, yeah I’m still learnin’ (I’m still learnin’) to love myself (To love myself) (To love my, to love my, to love my, ooh) And I try and I try to remember sometimes If I breathe, it’s alright, but some things don’t change I’m still learnin’ (I’m still learnin’) to love myself (Love myself) To love myself I’m still learnin’ to love myself
My 2 Cents – I find it so easy to love everyone else. I struggle to love myself. I see too easily the flaws. So forgive me if I take a few…I’m Still Learning to love myself…
I lost a friend today. He actually passed away on the 7th… But I found out today. He was so bright and compassionate. He would at least once a month send me a digital hug. He was a veteran and a good man. I will miss him.
I normally put poetry on pictures with a copyright notice… This one hurts too much.
I’ve seen people go under I’ve seen people move on But the voices getting louder Until there is none
They said I was special They said I could fight it I said it was painful I told them I’ll lose it
I wanna be special I wanna be you But I don’t belong here I see it in you
They said I was special They said I could fight it I said it was painful I told them I’ll lose it
They said I was special Yeah!
I’ve seen people in battle I’ve seen people give up But they’re all just like cattle They don’t know when to stop
I thought they were special I thought they all knew But they are just assholes They’re all just like you
I said it was painful I told them I’ll lose it
If you’re coming back home tonight I’ll be all long gone I’ll be all long gone [x2]
I thought it was easy I’ll be all long gone I’ll be all long gone [x2]
My 2 Cents- We all have those moments. where we feel left alone, like we are not as special. Each of us are individuals. It doesn’t always feel like it though. And to me this song speaks to that depression that gives us the mental gremlins telling us that we are not anything worth having. The gremlins lie.
Ok, I am sure in this day and age, you have seen on social media and other sites about self care. Whether you think that it affects you, or not, it really does. Not just those who are affected by illness have issues with self care, and the importance it has on life.
We can get busy in life, and there are factors that assist in making this worse. The four listed on the picture are the ones that should happen every day. Add in exercise for a good self care, but if you miss that occasionally, you will not die. These four on the picture are life threatening if you miss them…
Now I can see the look as you glance over the list. Missing a shower doesn’t seem life threatening, heck people do all of the time and survive. But I am talking about quality of life too. Let’s look at each point individually.
Eating – well the human body is designed to do amazing things, but it needs fuel. If you don’t eat then you will find the muscles and your brain start to malfunction. You will not be able to move or think as well as before. We are only able to live for one week without eating… And the body and mind both start to suffer after one day without food.
Hydration – we are mostly water. And as we move we use a portion of said fluid up. The human body can only go three days without drinking water… Mind you I said water. Sugary drinks such as cola will only add to dehydration, though they do taste good. As we dehydrate, our muscles cramp. Our mind clouds, making concentration harder. We get dizzy spells and start feeling light headed. (Though the last symptom is also true of lack of food.)
Sleep – in today’s fast paced environment, we tend to tell ourselves that sleep is not necessary. The problem is that the brain is an organic computer. If you fail to allow your computer to have a break, well it will end up crashing because the memory does not clear of what has been done. The brain is much the same. Sleep deprivation can cause so many side effects. Google it, it is an interesting read.
Showering – ok this one is not immediately lethal. There are diseases that are made worse by being unclean. This one is a lot more about making yourself feel better. A shower makes the body clean and often makes us feel a little bit more alive.
I would recommend that you also, preferably before the shower, at least go for a small walk. It helps to get the body working properly to do at least some exercise daily.
This is good for everyone, but those of us with illness (chronic or mental) sometimes find just doing the self care checklist hard. And that is OK, as long as you do what you can. Keep in mind that this isn’t just a thing so that we are able to be socially acceptable… It is something that can be life threatening. Please do take care of you.
*I wrote this a while back. I am not sure if I ever posted it here. This was a busy weekend and I felt the need to do some self care myself, so I decided to use it for my Monday post. I am hoping to post poetry later this week.
Lyrics – And I feel that time’s a-wasting, go So where ya going to tomorrow? And I see that these are lies to come So would you even care? And I feel it And I feel it Where ya going for tomorrow? Where ya goin’ with the mask I found And I feel, and I feel When the dogs begin to smell her Will she smell alone? And I feel, so much depends on the weather So is it raining in your bedroom? And I see, that these are the eyes of disarray Would you even care? And I feel it And she feels it Where ya going for tomorrow? Where ya goin’ with the mask I found? And I feel, and I feel When the dogs begin to smell her Will she smell alone? When the dogs do find her Got time, time, to wait for tomorrow To find it To find it To find it When the dogs do find her Got time, time, to wait for tomorrow To find it To find it To find it Where ya going for tomorrow? Where ya goin’ with the mask I found? And I feel, and I feel When the dogs begin to smell her Will she smell alone? When the dogs do find her Got time, time, to wait for tomorrow To find it To find it To find it When the dogs do find her Got time, time, to wait for tomorrow To find it To find it To find it To find it To find it To find it
My 2 Cents – This week has been crazy, on a personal level. I know that this song is about murder…but sometimes in order to become who we need to be, it feels like we kill parts of ourselves. I am struggling with decisions that may leave parts of me behind and I am not sure if it will allow me to continue my life as it is or if things will change. This song to me talks a lot of patience.
Pattimouse 