Category: Life

Viewpoints 

Rain is the perfect weather to think in.  There is two sides to every story. That is something that we often forget,  especially when we are fighting.  When we are fighting,  all we want is to express our views.  We want to show that we hurt,  and that we believe strongly in what we are saying.  We forget that we love,  and that we may not be the only one who is right.  Two sides to each story does not always mean just right and wrong. 

          Sometimes,  an argument is about two people who have valid points and neither know how bend to see the other view. It really is normal.  However during the fight,  it is not something that anyone thinks of. I myself have been guilty of this.  We get so involved in ourselves that we find ourselves alone with hurt hearts and confused minds.  

          Still in the moment it is very hard to step back.  It is not a thing that comes naturally to most of us.  So we have to decide whether or not to back down or to feel like we are untrue to our own truths.  Standing our ground can cause friction between us and whomever we are arguing with. Sometimes backing down is allowing our truths to be ignored.  

            It is possible for both sides to be right.  So when you deal with the hurt from an argument,  keep that in mind. If you do not want to back down from your view,  it is fine.  Just consider that you are not the only one involved.  Consider if the other party could be right as well. 

Names

What is in a name,  a rose by any other name would smell just as sweet. ~Shakespeare 
So I have nearly always hated my name.  I have had reasons… And they seemed like good ones.  But it really came down to the fact that I never heard my name unless I was in trouble.  Not my full name anyway.  So I spent a hefty portion of my life looking at other names and feeling envy. I wanted to be anyone else,  and I felt that a lot of it was the name.  My full name is Patricia Lynn Harris.  So common a name.  Google it.  There are hundreds of Patricia Harris’s out there.  As a younger girl I would write as Susan Ann Andrews.  I adored the name Susan.  It seemed to embody all of the desire I wanted. I was even “Sassy Susie” on the Cb radio. 

         It was something that I always assumed would be my pen name.  I am not sure why I put my full name on the first thing I published. It was not something that I really thought out.  I was just trying to have my voice be heard.  After that it was a matter of principal.  I was already out as that name.  To change it felt like I was hiding from the past.  That was not something that I was willing to do.  

         So I did the poetry.  I did the kids books.  And I was doing all of it with who I was. Stories for my girl,  and poetry that was how I dealt with the emotional baggage of life. So I forgot about pen names. I didn’t need one. 

         Then my Joe,  bless him,  decided to be my muse.  He started giving me dark ideas.  Delightful ideas,  ones that I wanted to read. Ideas that hadn’t been written.  However the ideas were violent and really not kid friendly. So I found myself needing a pen name. I wanted something that was more true to who I was. 

              I am pagan.  I have a name that I use in my ritual times.  Serenity Rose Lace. I wanted to at least use some of this name.  So I chose to use a variation on Serenity.  Serena. I also wanted to acknowledge the darkness of what I was wanting to write… So Mossgraves.  It sounded good to me.  

               So that is where my Pen name originated.  What name would you choose,  If you could name yourself? 

Radio nerves. 

Zombiepalooza Radio Live

So I got the chance to sit down and talk to Jackie Chin from Zombiepalooza.  And I didn’t blow it.  I was definitely nervous but I had a lot of fun!  If you have not checked her out,  then you really should. 

Reminiscent 

Bare feet 

And heavy dreams. 

Atop the sky, 

Life was eternal it seems. 

Hidden forts, 

Behind bleachers, 

In the trees. 
Running about pretending 

That we would always be, 

Friends and dreamers 

In infinity. 
Innocence a haze, 

Setting the tone, 

Childhood a state 

Best when not alone. 

Blog Hyginks

So yesterday I was a busy blogger.  I really should be more regular in my posts…. But I am not good at regular. Now that I have the app on my phone it is more likely.  I am a creature of convenience. I try to improve my actions,  I try to get into the habits that I want to have. Still routine is not easy for me.  My life is very chaotic. I warned you with the tagline… Lol.  Crazy rarely is predictable.  Still,  when trying to deal with a blog,  and selling what I wrote,  I am aware that if there is no updates then I will have no readers.  So I will attempt to do better.  If nothing else,  I will try to share some of the awesome blogs that I read. 

Meet Serena Mossgraves

So I decided that I needed a pen name.  I am a poet and a children’s author.  The last few stories I have felt inappropriate for children.  So I decided that I might want a adult name for the tales that do not fit.  Now being as I struggle with doing the blog at all…. I really don’t want to separate the blog for both names.  I plan instead to note which of the two is the author if I speak of my writing. Thank you for understanding.I am hoping to update this blog a bit more often now as my phone has the app.  

planning and prompted writing

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I have been writing more lately.  This is a good thing.  my poetry is flowing. And the stories are trying to do the same. this is where my issue is.  I am not a planner when I write.  So when I have a dozen stories vying for space in my mind and am only one person…. well it means that I get so far in a story and lose track of where it should go. which is entirely frustrating. Planning the story only causes me to loose focus quicker. I am not saying this to whine.  it is just the way that I am.

So I am feeling that frustration with my current story and I set a deadline with my editor.  What that means is something ends up being forgotten in my struggle to make the story fall into line. For me… I am sorry to say… it has been this blog. I wanted to apologize for this.  I will likely be lax in posting until I am finished with this one and sent to the editor. I hope that you understand and return to see me after the 27th.

Awareness

I read something last week that has been bouncing around in my head. As I was not planning to write about it,  I did not save the blog link,  or I would refer to it.  I enjoy reading and on any given day read a dozen different blogs. Most do not stick around taking up head space.  This one did.  The gist of the blog was that though it had been a bad year,  perhaps it was not as awful as it seemed.  It spoke about how we are exposing ourselves to news in a constant barrage.  The blog likened it to an assault on the senses. Now it is that idea that has been bouncing.

Is the level of available information a bad thing?  As a writer I enjoy being able to research anything whenever I want. However,  I have had days where opening social media was oppressive. Simply because of the horrible things man does to each other. I remember that my grandma did not watch the news and did not read the paper. She was able to be blissfully ignorant unless she chose otherwise. She was one of the most intelligent people I have ever known. Now we assault ourselves with the news and wonder why we are depressed. I can’t help but think that there must be a better way.

 

Labels

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So I have my entire life been unable to fit exactly any label. I was sporty,  nerdy,  geeky,  a loner,  a bookworm,  social,  antisocial,  introvert,  extroverted,  a joiner…well you can see where I am going with this. It was not a true issue for me,  and was all in the same breath. I always felt like I was on the outside.  I laugh… I collect labels… But then I would hide the fact that it hurt.  Why should I be a label?  I have never been very good at limiting myself…

That being said…. My twelve year old is very much like me.  She is fluid in who she is and what she does. She asked me today…. Mama why do people have to label each other?  Why can’t they just accept that each person grows and change with each passing day? …….how is it that this child who has not yet reached even a decade and a half umderstands something that eludes over half the human race?

Perhaps we need to learn instead of separately labelling each other,  to instead celebrate the uniqueness that is the human race.

random thoughts

Ok remember I said I was half mad….here is another slice of my mental world.

  • pen names seem to have more uses than I thought, but I wonder if it really matters
  • people keep expecting me to tell them who my writing style is like…I really can’t begin to explain that I write, and know that others like what I write…but I will never be a good judge.
  • I have no self image. I am me…but I don’t see myself as good or bad…I just am.
  • this sounds like I am whining.
  • the holidays suck because i want so badly to be with everyone I love…but how I see them isn’t usually how i am seen.
  • my daughter cracks me up. she has such a delightful intelligence and a smart sense of humor.
  • I have an editor for Death of Neverland who actually made it less stressful. my insecurities make such things painful.
  • youtube has some really great science based experiment videos
  • I wish I was less insecure
  • I am unsure how to express my thoughts when I am not writing poetry or stories. I end up having trouble with what I say being misconstrued. I am a very honest person, but it doesn’t always come out exactly how I mean.