The only days that I’m not stressed Are days I work myself to death And I’m too tired to feel anything else
Even then, I’m restless in my sleep My worries bleed into my dreams and I Wake up and do it all again
Maybe it’s the way I was raised Or how I’m wired in my brain but I never seem to be Enough for me
Is it normal The way I can’t help second guessing Is it normal Wishing I could put my thoughts to bed And be in the moment For just a moment Cuz it feels like I’m always somewhere else instead Is it normal How I get stuck in my head
I bite my lip and twist my hair Scroll through my phone or sit and stare at nothing Trying to chase my train of thought
Tell everybody that I’m doing okay Make it look good and hope that one of these days It won’t be a lie
Is it normal The way I can’t help second guessing Is it normal Wishing I could put my thoughts to bed And be in the moment For just a moment Cuz it feels like I’m always somewhere else instead Is it normal How I get stuck in my head
Ahh, yeah yeah Ahh, yeah Ahh, yeah yeah Stuck in my, stuck in my Ahh, yeah yeah Ahh, yeah Ahh, yeah yeah Stuck in my, stuck in my
Is it normal The way I can’t help second guessing Is it normal Wishing I could put my thoughts to bed And be in the moment For just a moment Cuz it feels like I’m always somewhere else instead Is it normal How I get stuck in my head
My 2 Cents –
I heard this on tiktok…and related so much. Sometimes music is just knowing someone else feels the same.
For the ones that follow me on Facebook, I just changed my profile picture back to this one. It is a good picture, in my opinion. But I had a good friend tell me I should smile more… I am far prettier when I smile…. well I am smiling in this picture. But it doesn’t reach my eyes. Because I was nervous when I took the picture, the smile is a plastic thing. Forced for the picture. My grandma Ethel used to tell me that she hated my pictures because the smile never reached my eyes. This picture fits that discription.
I don’t want to be pretty. I don’t care if anyone sees me as such. However it was bugging me that she said that I should smile, as I was smiling. That is when I remembered what Grandma said. I still think it’s a good picture. I feel like I am androgynous in it. Which I love. I don’t really understand a lot about gender and the binary of it. But I don’t have to. I can be comfortable with myself and not really understand what I am.
This week I am going to talk about book covers. These are for future volumes of Poetry. At this point I am probably sitting on more covers than I will live to write…but I have plans for each of them. And I enjoy the creation of the cover.
Occult Madness will be religious poetry. Ocular Dystopia will be visual poetry. Naked verse is just going to be a regular volume with no theme.
[Intro] (Pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-ra) (Pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-ra) Feelin’ like a psychofreak-freak-freak (Pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-ra) (Pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-ra)
[Chorus] Feelin’ like a psychofreak sometimes Tryna get connected, no Wi-Fi Tell me that you love me, are you lying? Give me lemonade, I’ll give you limes House in the hills is a house of cards Blink and the fairytale falls apart Sorry, didn’t mean to get so dark Maybe I’m an alien, Earth is hard
[Verse 1] Sometimes, I don’t trust the way I feel On my Instagram talkin’ ’bout “I’m healed” Worryin’ if I got sex appeal Hopin’ that I don’t drive off this hill When we’re makin’ lovе, I wanna be there And I wanna feel you pullin’ my hair And bеlieve the words you say in my ear Gotta go outside, I need some air
[Pre-Chorus] I want to, want to, want to touch you Want to touch you, but my fingertips are numb I want to, want to, want to love you Want to love you, but my chest is tightenin’ up I want to, want to, want to feel like I can chill Not have to leave this restaurant Wish I could be like everyone But I’m not like anyone
[Chorus] Feelin’ like a psychofreak sometimes Tryna get connected, no Wi-Fi Tell me that you love me, are you lying? Give me lemonade, I’ll give you limes House in the hills is a house of cards Blink and the fairytale falls apart Sorry, didn’t mean to get so dark Maybe I’m an alien, Earth is hard
[Verse 2] Sorry, couldn’t focus on the movie Everybody says they miss the old me I been on this ride since I was fifteen I don’t blame the girls for how it went down, down Thinkin’ out loud In the bathroom while my friends laugh on the couch Wow, moment’s gone now Know you wanna stay, but I think I gotta leave right now
[Pre-Chorus] I want to, want to, want to touch you Want to touch you, but my fingertips are numb I want to, want to, want to love you Want to love you, but my chest is tightenin’ up I want to, want to, want to feel like I can chill Not have to leave this restaurant Wish I could be like everyone (Wish I could be) But I’m not like anyone
[Chorus] Feelin’ like a psychofreak sometimes Tryna get connected, no Wi-Fi Tell me that you love me, are you lying? Give me lemonade, I’ll give you limes House in the hills is a house of cards Blink and the fairytale falls apart Sorry, didn’t mean to get so dark Maybe I’m an alien, Earth is-
[Post-Chorus] Pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-ra Pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-ra Feelin’ like a psychofreak Pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-ra Pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-ra
My 2 Cents –
There is a lot of days where I feel alone, and like no one understands me. This song makes me feel less so…
With each of the last few volumes I have been doing a theme… unintentionally but I have been doing it nonetheless. So, I have been struggling with this one and I think that I finally figured out why.
I have been trying to focus on the home aspect of the title… and the poetry is acceptable… but it has been harder to write because I don’t really know what home is. It changes as I do. And I can be mercurial in who I am on occasion.
I think that I need to instead look at the journey. And write about that. It might help me find the rest of the words to fill in the book. If I can get it done in time I will try for an August publishing date.
Something I call meditation Art… basically I draw circles and lines and swirls in what ever way I feel like at the time… until I feel like I am done. It’s relaxing.
Pattimouse 