Tuesday Tunes

Lyrics-

I saw somebody leap to the other world

Jumping off the edge left behind his hope

But he could fly for a second incredible

I wonder what it was like when he finally fell

They say you hit the water and then it’s gone

All the tears you cried all the pain you felt

But is it worth all the hurt that you’ve probably caused

When they find that you don’t make it back to shore

To be honest

Sometimes I think about all of the same things

I wish I could go back so I could change all of my memories

‘Cause all of them are sad

All the drinks I had

Turned into a pool of misery

I wonder if I’m better drowning

I tell myself

No no no no no no no no

No

I try to tell myself

No no no no no no no no

No

They celebrate the life that they never knew

Can’t point out the elephant in the room

Most people can’t understand what you’re going through

So in the end does it matter the path you choose?

To be honest

Sometimes I feel like I’m feeling the same things

I wish there was a way that I could tell this to my family

But they’d only be sad

Maybe I don’t have

Any point in being here

It’s so unclear if I’m swimming or sinking

I tell myself

No no no no no no no no

No

I try to tell myself

No no no no no no no no

No

I’ll turn my headlights on

Speeding ‘cross the bridge

No it won’t be long

But I got to be strong

And I tell myself

No no no no no no no no

I gotta tell myself

No no no no no no no no

And I tell myself

No no no no no no no no

I gotta tell myself

No no no no no no no no

I tell myself

My 2 Cents –

Sometimes we have to tell ourselves… and find the strength to hear.

Artsy Fartsy Thursday

Title: Shade

Feeling like I did Something

Well…I finished writing Queer Verbage which will not release until April…it seems so far away…but it is one less thing I have hanging over me. I can do the formatting and get the stuff done for publishing.
I cannot explain why the need to finish it was so strong, but having it done is a weight off. Now I have Tears of the Broken, Dream Drops, Fighting Ignorance, Ocular Dystopia, Occult Madness in progress for me and Chasing Ghosts for Serena.
When I mentioned to my Daughter how I felt like I was struggling with it, she said I was pushing too hard. She said that if I worked any harder she would never get to see me. Sorry, she comes first there. But it did make me wonder…what is the right amount? I try to write as I feel the urge, but I also try to set a daily goal so I actually get forward progress on more than just the poetry volumes…because I tend to get easily distracted from my stories. I am aware there is a discipline to this…and I am a child of chaos.
So where is the happy medium for me? That is something I am going to be working with over the next few weeks. I need to set me a workable time schedule for writing and work that I can stick to…or at least attempt to. Let’s see how that goes?

Blessings on the solstice

Whatever you celebrate this time of year I wish you the best of it!

Artsy Fartsy Thursday

Title: Winter

Wild Wednesday

Y’all. I have a new car!

I have wanted this car since I was 15 years old.

We only got it because the price was right. And we needed a vehicle that could hold the 3 of us.

But…

Still. It is a VW bug.

I’m a little bit giddy. It is seriously my dream car.

The bulbs for the low beams need replaced. There’s a crack in the windshield. The glovebox handle needs replaced. The door handle on the driver side needs replaced. The driver’s window sticks. The car is in serious need of cleaning. The exhaust needs replaced. It needs an oil change and a tune up.

We paid a thousand for it.

We are going to probably be a couple of months before we can afford to get it All repaired (as we have to pay the loan off we borrowed to buy it to begin with first.) But we own it.

Picture is from the ad- I have not been able to get some of it in person yet.

Of course, since I can’t afford to do anything else… I have been window shopping on Amazon for fun accessories for my new car. What do you do when you are excited for something and can’t do anything with it?

Lifts when you least expect

So between the stress of the normal holidays and vehicle issues… I have been a little bit more than usual fighting with my internal demons. To the point where it has even interrupted the writing. Usually the fight feeds the writing…

I’m not sure what the difference is this year but I have been struggling. That being said… my friend Jenny Elliott – writer, and Fae Corps intern…chose the best way to cheer me up.

She has been reading my The Voices within volume. And she came to a poem and decided to tell me that I was more than enough.

Then she has been busy with making marketing stuff for Fae Corps and I keep running across my books there.

Though I know it was a part of her job…it really does feel like I have made some difference in this world.

Sometimes we can’t see the world around us for the immediate struggle we are dealing with.

Remember you never know what your reviews will do for the author.

Tuesday Tunes

Lyrics-

No one knows just what has become of her
Shattered doll, desperate
Oh so innocent and delicate
But too damn obdurate
And obstinate to let go
Broken down, hurt again, it never ends
Frightened and trembling
Did she fall again? An accident?
Her eyes encircled in black again
I can’t believe that she’s still with him
For how long will you try?
How long until you walk away?
Your facade can’t disguise
The fact that you’re in misery
Look inside see what has become of her
Hiding within again
Can she pick herself up again?
It’s just too difficult and arduous to let go
Homicide flashes through her mind again
No more pain, take control
If he raises his hand again
She’ll find her freedom in killing him
The world will see that she’s had enough
For how long will you try?
How long until you walk away?
Your facade can’t disguise
The fact that you’re in misery
For how long will you try?
How long until you walk away?
Your facade can’t disguise
The fact that you’re in misery
For how long will you deny?
How long until you walk away?
Your facade can’t disguise
The fact that you’re in misery
For how long will you try?
How long until you walk away?
Your facade can’t disguise
The fact that you’re in misery
Broken down, hurt again
It never ends

My 2 Cents –

This song is often taken as speaking of an abused woman. I have always seen it as masking in any form. Being who you are not in any relationship is a torture. If you love someone, accept them for who they are. No matter what they are.