okay, so I have overdone everything.
my body aches everywhere.
I have a few things that are still in the works, and I am not sure what I have that I can share about them.
I know I have to work on a million things… but it has been a long week.
So I don’t have any more spoons.
Lyrics –
Hail, hail the black sheep
We are blood, we are family
Call me an outcast, call me a freak
Watch those bullets ricochet straight off of me
‘Cause I belong where right is wrong
No lost cause like the good books say
Don’t give a damn what people think
I march along to a different song
Oh, I feel it deep in my bones
I was born to break every curse, every chain
So I’m singing
Hail, hail the black sheep
We are blood, we are family
Pray the lord my soul to keep
Hail, hail, the black sheep
Thinkin’ like water, think it speaks
Oh, how the river runs deep
We are blood, we are family
Hail, hail the black sheep
Can’t shut me up, won’t bite my tongue
Speak my truth till the day is done
I’m not a saint, I own my pain
Never was lost, but I found my way
Always knew I’d show my scars one day
For the rules I broke, helped me build my throne
Oh, I’m right where I belong
Now I’m singing
Hail, hail the black sheep
We are blood, we are family
Pray the lord my soul to keep
Hail, hail, the black sheep
Thinkin’ like water, think it speaks
Oh, how the river runs deep
We are blood, we are family
Hail, hail the black sheep
Hail the black sheep, yeah
Hail the black sheep, oh yeah
From the streets, to the gutters
We’re sisters and brothers
One nation under one love, one color
Born to be
Black sheep
Hail, hail the black sheep
We are blood, we are family
Pray the lord my soul to keep
Hail, hail, the black sheep
Thinkin’ like water, think it speaks
Oh, how the river runs deep
We are blood, we are family
Hail, hail the black sheep
From the streets, to the gutters
We’re sisters and brothers
We are blood, we are family
Hail, hail the black sheep
My 2 cents –
Family is such a huge thing. For some of us it is a good thing, and for others… well…we spend the whole of our lives wondering what is wrong with us.
My Faults
By Patricia Harris
In my head
my faults are mountain sized,
built from the moments I have
so often tried…
and seen the inability
to make it work…
so the blame was in me?
because where else could it be?
instead of seeing the struggle
I have endured and the learning curve
that me was set before,
I assumed that I was flawed.
Overcome the world laid at my feet,
every issue did I defeat, just not in perfect grace,
so I listed my own flaws in litany
because I saw the struggle as my disgrace.
So I know that I have been trying to get back to my usual for this week… and yes… I am scheduling it all on Sunday… but I got as far as Wednesday and I don’t know what to do with it.
I have so much going on, and I know that I can use it for telling you about it… but sometimes it’s not stuff that I know how to share.
This month especially is physically busy. It’s also busy with work. Okay let me explain.
Work is not usually physical for me. Work is writing, editing, and publishing. It can be incredibly mentally taxing. But I am often not up and moving around.
Part of the reason why is that I don’t have exactly good mobility. I will get unable to move if I do too much.
Well, in order for me to have an office…we have to clean out a storage room. Plus I have plans for the weekend to be at Milton Flea market with my resin art and jewelry. (Kiddo is doing yard sale stuff at the same time.) And the chickens are going to be getting a new coop from a old building in the yard – that also needed cleaned out to be useable.
So, I think that I am just overwhelmed and stressed out. Hopefully I can do a good post next week about the flea market.
Lyrics –
I am so broken, my wounds are open
For the world to see
That I am unclean
I’m dirty
I’m unworthy
Turning, fire’s burning
I hate that you hurt me
I’ll take what you’ve done
I hate that you’re happy
I thought you were the one
I hate that I still want you
And miss your smile
I hate everything about you
I hate myself for hanging on
My eyes are distorted
From the lies that you’ve spoken
I scream
But I feel nothing
It’s unreal
Dirty, I’m unworthy
Turning, fire’s burning
I hate that you hurt me
I’ll take what you’ve done
I hate that you’re happy
I thought you were the one
I hate that I still want you
And miss your smile
I hate everything about you
I hate myself for hanging on
Breathing’s not a part of healing
It doesn’t mean I’m alive inside
Just because my heart’s still beating
It doesn’t mean I don’t wanna die slow
I hate that you hurt me
I’ll take what you’ve done
I hate that you’re happy
I thought you were the one
I hate that I still want you
And miss your smile
I hate everything about you
I hate myself for hanging on
I hate that you hurt me
I’ll take what you’ve done
But I hate everything about you
I hate myself for hanging on
Hate myself for hanging on
My 2 cents –
I feel like this one is so freaking relatable. Moving through life, and love, is hard. And though the song is obviously about a romantic type of relationship, I think that it could easily be applied to other types as well. That feeling like you wonder why you were never good enough and how much it hurts… yeah. Relatable. Sorry for the sad on main, but it came up first as I went looking for music to talk about.
Bone Tired
By Patricia Harris
When does sleep
Finally catch up
With the tired
A lifetime long?
It’s not that I am complaining,
For life is full, and I am aware,
But more than three hours
Would help feel like
I have been mauled by a bear.
So one of my favorite people is off on an adventure today. Raz T. Slasher is going to be at Final Boss Con today at a table talking about his books. If you are in Ohio in the area, stop by and say hi for me.
He is one that I have enjoyed publishing, and knowing for a little bit now. It’s only about an hour away from where I live but I can’t get transportation to go see him.
Humanity
By Patricia Harris
Define for me
That which makes us human?
The bits that keep us from
Being defined as animals
Or monster…
Remind me,
On my dark days,
That all that is within me
Is still humanity…
Even if I wonder if I ever
Was human at all?
So I finished with the pad challenge yesterday and now I am starting the next phase of my new blog experience… and I don’t have any posts planned for this week. That means that I will be posting at random times for the next couple of days… but I am going to be trying to figure out what the new blog is going to be looking like.
I have a book review for a friend that I will be posting sometime soon – I was lucky enough to get an ARC for her book… and I can’t wait to tell you what I think about it. I have nearly finished reading it. My review is likely to be released near the release date in June.
Hope Splashes has a release date soon.
Chasing Ghosts is also releasing soon.
Fae Corps Publishing has a full release schedule until January of next year. So I will be able to talk about the publisher side of things some as well.
I still have to go through the categories and do a bit of a cleaning. I hope to get it done before next week.
Though I have done a lot of changes and the changes may mean the blog looks different, I think that it will be nicer to read in the long run.
The End
By Patricia Harris
Is once the word is spoken
at the end of it’s life,
nothing further for it to know?
or is the verse just beginning
and the speech the start
of all it will know?
Either way I feel like
the word spoken in verse
will catch something more than
interest and ignite a new thirst.
Pattimouse 