This is my work in progress list… and how I keep track of my word count.
Beauty standards was actually already started. I started it at the beginning of November – 468 words in. I simply forgot to list it due to the chaos of my own health… I found the story and wanted to write more so I added it to the list.
I spent most of my time asleep this week but when I was awake I managed a lot of writing. I am going to speak a bit more on it in the post on Monday.
This week I plan on saving something for the art and poetry (Monday and Thursday ) . Simply because of the content I plan on posting,
I think I am finally getting over this stupid sinus infection let’s hope ..
This is my work in progress list… and how I keep track of my word count. I normally don’t keep finished work on my list but I did so I could show you.
The blood Rose curse is Serena’s submission for the spring anthology Fae Corps Publishing is putting out (Into the Fae Woods) the call is still on the Fae Corps Publishing blog if you are interested.
Stolen skins is for the fall anthology (call will be on the blog in March) and it is also Serena’s. I don’t separate my word counts because I often have no need. I know who is the author.
Madame Fae’s Story house is for Patricia to submit to a new anthology we are trying to get started. We always do the spring and fall anthologies but I want to try to do a kids anthology for kids week. Children’s short stories and art. the call will be on the blog on Halloween. if this one works I will be trying to make it a yearly one.
On my health issues I have another dang sinus infection. I swear my immune system is so bad that I catch anything just by breathing. I managed to get more writing and work done this week regardless of how I feel.
This is my work in progress list… and how I keep track of my word count. I added over 200 words to the blood rose curse (Serena Mossgraves submission for the upcoming anthology Fae Corps Publishing is releasing) and started on her submission for the fall anthology.
Forgotten Knowledge is sitting at 7 poems but the stupid app likes to occasionally forget the stuff I put in the list.
I wish I could say that the progress was over the week. Honestly It was just Thursday. Two poems and roughly 500 words. I spent the rest of the week drugged and asleep because of pain. this may be my way until at least February.
In trying to make it work with my health issues and keep up a daily or at least semi daily posting…I have to make a few changes. So, Saturday Thoughts is my new catch all. I will be trying to at least tell you what my word counts for the week is {starting next week as I am scheduling this one ahead.} This is also where I will be talking about my health and mental health progress.
This is where I will talk about what I have managed for the week or what has happened to delay progress. I will speak about publishing and writing. I will speak about my life and my art. I will speak about the 2 am rabbit holes and the other strange things I end up thinking about.
I realize that I have been absent for a week….it was however not intentional. between Dr’s appointments and books releasing….I just brain fogged. Though I did have a nice surprise. went to the Dr because I have a sinus infection and the check in notes acknowledged that I have fibromyalgia and Autism. both of them previous doctors were not willing to diagnose me with. though other doctors had? I am sure that they are correct and having a dr agree just feels so good.
I should be doing the daily thing again through November but I don’t think I’ll be doing the normal week posts as I am doing 2 pad challenges and trying to do the Fae 50k.
I am fifty years old. I have had a repetitive dream for as long as I can remember. at least 40 plus years. I am terrible at dream interpretation and I don’t know if I even want it completely interpreted. It now feels like a journey I have finished. Let me explain by telling you that dream first and then I will fill the remaining details in. This is not fiction though I suppose it could be an interesting read. This is the most vivid dream I’ve ever had.
I start the dream in the same place. I always know that I am dreaming, but I am unbothered by that fact. I am on the third floor of a three story house and I have been here before. I am comfortable here. Before me is three doors and a staircase down. I start exploring the first door. I am never alone. the people change, no one stays with me for long at this point. I know everyone, they are people that I have met or will meet in my life. Everyone I have ever cared about was in the dream – some before I ever met them. It takes me a full day to explore each door. The rooms are laid out with symbols of different aspects of the life I have lived. (in example…one room is a gorgeous library that has decor resembling a roma’s wagon, another one is a beautiful bedroom with a canopy bed and carved decor – ivory elephants, onyx roses, wooden trees.) Three rooms, each room takes a full day to explore. so it takes me three days to reach the stairs.
I continue the same pattern on the second floor. Again three doors and a staircase going down. I am starting to see outside at this point and I feel the urge to rush, though I do not. I want to be outside but I am intrigued with the house. As I reach the bottom of the second stairs I am in the middle of the largest kitchen I have ever seen. the smells are so interesting and I feel like I should linger but it causes anxiety to stay. The companions are still there but they are like a radio left playing…background noise. I am focused on the door to the outside. I can clearly see the yard now but I know that I will not reach it. The moment my hand touches the doorknob I wake up.
I have sought dream interpretation before because of the frequency and vivid nature of the dream. Now I know how it ends, sort of.
I went to bed yesterday and I immediately had a night terror.
So I sat up and spent a few hours trying to get my head back together. When exhaustion finally consumed me and I simply couldn’t hold my head up anymore I tried again.
This time I knew I was in the same dream but I was not in the house. I was behind it. The yard had a rusted swingset covered in thick webs. The yard was overgrown and I could see things in the grass. I didn’t spend time trying to figure out what. I still had compainions. We walked carefully around the house. There was only one door into the house and when I started the dream I was staring at it. I had always assumed that it faced the driveway. it did not. after I got around the house there was a dirt driveway that went out as far as I could see. I started walking down the driveway and I woke up. For the first time feeling like I finished the dream.
Now, I know it doesn’t seem like that is the end of the story but I understand it. sometimes the journey is not supposed to end. Sometimes it is more about the journey than it is about either end.
I find myself introspective a lot more lately. I am going through my computer files and transferring stuff from my phone. I have been trying to clean up the duplicates and sort and organize it.
I am finding myself amazed by the sheer volume of files. They are pictures of my poetry and art I have made. I wish I could say that I see the progress in my art. It seems like I either draw or create art beautifully or like a brain dead kindergartener. There’s no middle line apparently.
I have been fighting a wound on my foot since October and now that it is healed I am allowed to do stuff. So I looked at the mess that my personal space has become because I was not allowed to be on my feet and I was so overwhelmed I didn’t know where to start.
I just sat down and went to pieces because I was too uncomfortable and overwhelmed to get anything done. I told my kid that. He kinda seems to be smarter than I am most of the time anymore, I swear. He just looks at me and says he is planning a yard sale. why not sort through the boxes beside the desk for stuff to toss to the sale? He literally just gave me a starting point. I did the boxes and I stopped there for the night. The next day I went through a corner that had been catching my craft supplies thinking it would be a small step forward and I have apparently done too much. My body doesn’t bother to tell me that I should slow down anymore …it just quits and I hurt for the next few days.
So I have been forced to go back to doing nothing. I hate that. So I am cleaning up my files and quietly trying to feel better about what I did get done instead of feeling like I failed because I pushed my self too much.
I need to find a way to stay out of my own head. it’s dark in there and sometimes it is terrifying to lose the light.
I have never had great self esteem. I honestly do not see myself with the eyes others have. And you know what? That is perfectly fine. I struggle with where I fit in society. Perfectionism and imposter syndrome war for control of my life. But then there is all I am capable of.
I can make candles. I can make lovely jewelry. I make resin art. I paint. I sketch. I do digital art. I do watercolor art and other multimedia art. I code in c++. I sew. I crotchet. I garden. I bake. I cook. I edit. I write poetry. I write stories. I do amateur photography. I have random bits of useless knowledge in my head. I help people. I do cover design. and sometimes I am even a decent person.
in the social life I struggle with interacting and being friends. I don’t see the beauty of my own body but I am able to see the intelligence and kindness within.
so maybe it’s just me over thinking what self esteem really means.
Though I got other votes the majority seem to want Rising Madness. I am literally 3 poems away from completing Graphic Disturbances. As I am currently covered over at Fae Corps Publishing it will probably be July before I am capable of releasing it.
I Will be sure to let you know when I have more information about the release.
okay first thing I am doing Fae Corps Publishing’s MerMay challenge. This means I will be continuing to post daily for the month of May. That means I will be still on hiatus for the daily normal posts.
Second, I am paying for the blog to allow the use of more images here. it will adjust the website for my blog page slightly. That should take effect on the third.
I hope you enjoy the art.
I may try to post some poetry just to keep my blog somewhat writing based. lol
Pattimouse 