Category: positive thoughts

Thursday Thoughts

Meme

Tuesday I mentioned that I was going in for an MRI. I said I would explain it today.

I have always called my issues with closed spaces Claustrophobia. I knew where I got the fear from…but NOTHING I did could overcome that. Someone once told me that there was two types of fear. The kind where you are in a life or death situation and the type where you can overcome it. For my brain the being locked in somewhere is a life or death situation. It is not Claustrophobia in the normal sense though. I told my therapist about it, and the panic that just the thought of the MRI was giving me…and she identified it as a PTSD trigger.

I survived the test. It wasn’t even as bad as I had expected it to be. It was not as bad as previous MRI’s have been. Maybe that is because I was able to prepare. I was able to compartmentalize and tell myself I was not in danger. I am no longer the nine year old child being locked in the trunk of a car and being told I will die. I am healing.

Thursday Thoughts

okay  Tomorrow is Valentines day.

The history is interesting, but I have issues with the implementation.

Dates don’t have to be expensive. the best dates I have had were sitting down by the creek and talking.

the pressure to buying gifts for each other is really uncomfortable.

I enjoy buying gifts and getting gifts without the strings attached.

I would rather capitalism not control my life.

Thursday Thoughts

Politics are a nasty thing. They always have been. I take after my grandmother where politics are concerned and I am fairly proud of that.

She didn’t read newspapers or watch the news because she didn’t want to feel any worse about the way things were. I don’t do either, but nowadays all a person has to do is open social media and they will find themselves bombarded with current events.

Quite a few of my friends are talking about taking social media breaks because of the mental health strain that comes with the current events. The problem is that for some of us social media is the only time we actually do socialize. Loneliness doesn’t help mental health issues.

This is why we need books and art. We need creative people to make the world less hard to accept. Music, movies, books and art bring the world a light and right now the world is so very dark.

So I will be doing my best to post more art, and make more poetry and stories to bring a light to the world. I ask everyone to do what they can to do the same.

A Whisper…

The Reaper’s Child

By Serena Mossgraves

The world seems to be a place where myths are taken for granted. Everyone knows the Myth of the pilot of the River Styx. The Ferryman who ferries souls over to the afterlife for a cost. They all have it wrong though. The Reaper doesn’t want coin. They are an immortal being. Such creatures have no need for money. The ferry driver instead takes the best story each soul has to tell. Sometimes just the telling of the story is too much for a soul to bear. Words carry weight. They are the most painful things in existence. They can also be the most gratifying things that life has to offer.
The ferryman has so many names, and most of them are just the myths coming to signify the way the mortal beings see them. For me, they are my creator. I guess you could call me the reaper’s child. It is not exactly correct, but it is the closest term for what I am. I am a story that became too much for even an immortal mind to bear. So, I grew sentience. Now I search the world for the others like myself, dark stories and memories that weigh heavy on mortality. Stories of killers, and crime, heartache, and such twisted thoughts that they are relegated to impossible fiction. That is the sort of thing that I collect. Like the ferryman I take these weights from the ones who cannot bear them any longer. I think of it as saving those souls who would break under such terrible weights.
I save each story in a notebook, lovingly hand written. My creator kept the stories told to them in perfect memory…I am not quite that blessed. Instead I will keep my notebooks…Stacked full of nightmares. The only story I have been able to remember without writing it down is the one that caused my creation. Perhaps someday I will meet the snowman…I would love to collect all of Frosty’s stories. I can only imagine what notebooks I could fill with that.
I have collected the tale of a vampire that would use it’s victims for the creation of art.
And the tale of the ghost who used to be a mercenary in a rainforest expedition that went badly. He was a wealth of stories. He gave me my own nightmares for weeks after taking his stories.
I collected the story of the nun who was cursed with immortality. It drove her mad. She spoke of becoming a killer, and how it was a kindness to save the women from the hands of the priests.
Each tale has it’s own power to describe a different aspect of life, a different aspect of death.
The story of the woman who went back after she died to steal away the child that her husband loved more than he loved her…She sang it sweet lullabies as she took it to the edge of the River Styx.
I could easily entertain so many with my tales. Which story should I share? Perhaps about the creature named Harvey? The flesh-eater that enjoyed driving it’s meals mad first?
I have considered passing myself off as a horror writer. Telling my tales as if they were fiction to see if anyone would recognize. It is not as if I do not have thousands of dark and dismal tales.
There is the one about the three ghosts who tried to get a rich man to change his ways before it was too late.
or the one about the Witch who gave five teens their wish…but at what cost?
My notebooks are a treasure. I do not write the story whilst the teller yet lives. I make sure to leave them a tale to pay the ferry with. I can at least be that kind. Though I have considered what would happen in this world if there where not enough stories left to pay the ferry. Would all of the storytellers end up stuck here? And if they did would that just create more interesting tales?
I don’t dare allow myself to consider it too closely. I might just decide that I want all of the stories.

Okay….1. That is the first flash Fiction in Stacked Nightmares. 2. How many of Serena’s Stories can you see a nod to in that? I will say that one of the stories she refers to is not Serena’s to tell. It belongs to Malachi Nocturm. However, He is very uncertain about how good his writing is…so I don’t know if I can talk him into finishing it and then allowing me to publish it. So I used a small nod because I love the idea. This is the first thing I have been able to write (Other than Poetry) in 2 weeks. It has a word count of 680. So I had to share it.

Also Serena’s Story Heat & Ice was Accepted by Fractured Mind Publishing for their A Monster I Love Anthology. I will post more as I have details.

Thursday Thoughts

Meme - I am Done

I avoid politics.

I really don’t want to have the discord in my soul that politics brings. However, I have found myself being drawn into the fray a lot more lately.

I purposely did Fighting Ignorance as a volume of political poetry because I found myself actually mad about the political issues that were coming out.

I remember thinking that everyone was pushing me to have opinions on politics when I was trying to survive being a young adult in a world that was trying to destroy me. So I refused to get involved. It did the opposite of what everyone was trying to do.

I wanted nothing to do with the news, because it would add more stress on an already tired me. Terrorism was not the people who came from a far to change my country…it was the nightly news telling me that humans were doing such awful things to each other.

I now see the political climate and wonder why we are going backwards. I read a new bill that will make voting harder for those who are like me. My birth certificate and my drivers license have two different names. My name was changed as a child. It was supposed to be changed on my birth certificate as well and due to a paperwork snafu it was not.

I keep seeing more political issues that make me feel like this country is not a safe place for me to live in, and I have no ability to do anything about it. This is why I hate politics. It engenders fear.

I am going to keep hoping for things to turn out well, I will be voting…even if my voice is probably not going to be heard.(1 live in a red state and with the electoral college in place only 51% of the vote is needed to make the choice. So my voice is likely to be unheard.)

I don’t like politics and I don’t like that I have no voice in the way my life is going to be run.

Terrorism is not always an external thing. Sometimes it’s the nightly news telling you world events.

Thursday Thoughts

Meme - Overthinking

I think I am misunderstood. Several times lately I have had to explain my desires for Fae Corps.

We don’t generally take erotica…but it is mostly because we do a lot of children’s books and marketing both of them for a small publishing firm is nearly impossible.

The whole reason for Fae corps is because I love books and it is so hard to get your foot in the door as an indie author. The only thing that I limit is the erotica and gore for the sake of gore. I really just try to publish good stories by good people.

I like the idea of seeing unique representation of marginalized or obscure groups. I love publishing poetry that makes people feel or think. I am a sucker for a good kids book, and I would love to publish litrpg stories and or guides. I have a weakness for horror and mystery, sci fi and romance…pretty much anything that is an enjoyable read.

I can’t say that I have some kind of specific thing Fae Corps Publishing is specifically known for. I don’t know if I would want it to be. I feel like there is a lot of Indie firms that are particular. I just want to see good books out im the world.

Thursday Thoughts

Thursday Thoughts
Meme - Overthinking

I am not quiet about my mental illness. I sit and listen to others who need me as often as I can. Mostly because I feel like I am often not heard myself. I scramble to speak, and I am as precise in my language as I can be…because words are important…But there are days when the words leave me.

Sometimes It is easier to advise others than to listen to what you yourself need to hear.

And lately I am finding the words harder than I would like to admit. I have had to make choices for my own mental wellbeing that have left me drained.

So, Like so many others I seek the happy chemicals on the internet. Scrolling, and wishing it was a easy thing to just choose to be happy.

I have work to do.

I refuse to let those who depend on me down. So, I have had my moping period…And now I am done. I have my own plans for what life should be. I have happiness that I will seek out.

So…If you catch me moping again, know it will pass.

I am not here to sit upon a dead ass and be miserable.

Thursday thoughts

Meme - Feeling Invisible

This is the first day of a new month.

New months mean a fresh start from the mess that was July.

This is going to be a busy month.

I have 2 book releases for Fae corps and the deadline for the Anthology Nightmare Whiskers.

It’s also the last month of summer. Which is the one that I want to get as much resin time in as I can.

My kid suggested that I should try to make a TikTok shop for the jewelry I make.

It’s something that I have to think about.

I am thinking that Thursday is going to be a rotation of random things from now on. I rather enjoy the idea of making the reading posts and the art posts but I don’t always have the ability to make such a post every week.

National Poetry Month

So I have done this two different ways now. I always do something for April and November. I have tried posting some poems that I love from others in April, and I have tried posting my Daily PAD Challenge Responses.  I don’t know which one I want to do this year. I am still struggling with space (at least until May) so I want to go with something that would not add to the media as much. A daily poem would be a lot of media unless I do it as a text format with a repeating image.  

What are your thoughts on this? my poetry or others? or general discussion about what poetry is?

Wild Wednesday

Thank All of you for the Patience last week.

As I do not do anything in half measures…

I spent my birthday awake…for 28 total hours. Awake. Then I crashed and was allowed to sleep for twelve…woke up feeling sick.(not used to that much sleep at any given time.)

So…That was a fun experience. I was surrounded by love..

I even got writing done, and cover creation – though I was told I should not because I will likely not be able to write all the volumes I have covers for now. You know what? I am too old to be told what to do. I will create covers for books till I die. Because I love doing it.