A dream…

Meme - Feeling Invisible

I am fifty years old. I have had a repetitive dream for as long as I can remember. at least 40 plus years. I am terrible at dream interpretation and I don’t know if I even want it completely interpreted. It now feels like a journey I have finished. Let me explain by telling you that dream first and then I will fill the remaining details in. This is not fiction though I suppose it could be an interesting read. This is the most vivid dream I’ve ever had.

I start the dream in the same place. I always know that I am dreaming, but I am unbothered by that fact. I am on the third floor of a three story house and I have been here before. I am comfortable here. Before me is three doors and a staircase down. I start exploring the first door. I am never alone. the people change, no one stays with me for long at this point. I know everyone, they are people that I have met or will meet in my life. Everyone I have ever cared about was in the dream – some before I ever met them. It takes me a full day to explore each door. The rooms are laid out with symbols of different aspects of the life I have lived. (in example…one room is a gorgeous library that has decor resembling a roma’s wagon, another one is a beautiful bedroom with a canopy bed and carved decor – ivory elephants, onyx roses, wooden trees.) Three rooms, each room takes a full day to explore. so it takes me three days to reach the stairs.

I continue the same pattern on the second floor. Again three doors and a staircase going down. I am starting to see outside at this point and I feel the urge to rush, though I do not. I want to be outside but I am intrigued with the house. As I reach the bottom of the second stairs I am in the middle of the largest kitchen I have ever seen. the smells are so interesting and I feel like I should linger but it causes anxiety to stay. The companions are still there but they are like a radio left playing…background noise. I am focused on the door to the outside. I can clearly see the yard now but I know that I will not reach it. The moment my hand touches the doorknob I wake up.

I have sought dream interpretation before because of the frequency and vivid nature of the dream. Now I know how it ends, sort of.

I went to bed yesterday and I immediately had a night terror.

So I sat up and spent a few hours trying to get my head back together. When exhaustion finally consumed me and I simply couldn’t hold my head up anymore I tried again.

This time I knew I was in the same dream but I was not in the house. I was behind it. The yard had a rusted swingset covered in thick webs. The yard was overgrown and I could see things in the grass. I didn’t spend time trying to figure out what. I still had compainions. We walked carefully around the house. There was only one door into the house and when I started the dream I was staring at it. I had always assumed that it faced the driveway. it did not. after I got around the house there was a dirt driveway that went out as far as I could see. I started walking down the driveway and I woke up. For the first time feeling like I finished the dream.

Now, I know it doesn’t seem like that is the end of the story but I understand it. sometimes the journey is not supposed to end. Sometimes it is more about the journey than it is about either end.

so, now I have shared the details. Sweet dreams.

Artsy Fartsy Thursday

Artsy Fartsy Thursday
Arsty Fartsy Thursday

Titled: Deathday Cake
Artist: Serenity Rose
medium: pencil Drawing

Wednesday Whispers

Wednesday Whispers
Serena Mossgraves
Serena Mossgraves

The Making of A Matron
Chapter one Teaser
By Serena Mossgraves

 Her satin skin was soft in the dim light. Quietly, she pulled the hood of her cape up to cover her long ́silver white hair. Stealthily, she was ducking through the shadows, hurrying towards the tavern. Not a place she would normally frequent, thus perfect for tonight.
Stopping long enough to hide her belt pouch, she stepped in and quickly found a table at the rear against the wall. Careful to keep her identity hidden, Jhaelindra Vrinn scanned the busy ́common room, looking for her contact. Being a noble-born daughter of a drow house meant never being sure where the next deadly attack would come from. Yet such things were of little concern. As the top assassin for the temple of Lloth, Jhaelindra understood death. For her, who had never failed a contract, death was the most intimate of lovers. Dealt with as efficiently as needed for an assassin of her caliber.  
  Today, however, her mind was occupied with other matters. Her contact claimed to know the whereabouts of a man who has eluded Lloth’s justice for the last four centuries. Her brother, Nym. Though few knew it, Jhaelindra was the first daughter in a forgotten house, House Pharn, fostered before the assassins came to cleanse the house. House Pharn had owed an alliance to House Vrinn. That saved her. Still in her heart, family loyalty ran deep. Matron Vrinn taught her of both houses, although discreetly. She knew at least one of her siblings yet lived. She also knew the temple wanted his death. Although she did not yet know why, it’s something she desperately needed to learn.  
   She had been searching for fifty years, unable to find the reason for the order to purify House Pharn. All she had found is that the head priestess had claimed the house destruction was a directive from Lloth herself. She knew both of her brothers had left for the surface, something the temple was unaware of. Knowing her divided loyalties could cost her life, or worse, she was very careful. She was uncertain of her sister’s fate. When Jhaelindra had fostered, she went into temple assassin training. This meant no contact with anyone outside the temple or her Matron. So much of the details were beyond her ken.
   The tavern was filled with trash of all varieties. Very few drow among the many patrons. The service was horrible, and the food was worse. Jhaelindra had no intention of eating or drinking here. To do so was to ask for food poisoning, or worse. ́This was merely a convenient place to deal with her informant. One she was unlikely to be noticed in. Hopefully, he would have useful information.
    She showed none of the rampant fear and impatience that was filling her heart. Seeing her contact working his way through the dark common room did nothing to lessen it. He was a cloaked figure among many. However, she recognized the way he moved. ‘He moves like a weasel,’ she thought. A grimace of distaste briefly flashed across her strong features. Her lavender eyes flashed as he sat in the chair across from her.
                   “Well, weasel?” Jhaelindra purred softly with deep malice. “What have you for me?” Knowing this woman and her infamous quick ́temper, he quickly passed on his information, gathered payment, and escaped again into the maelstrom of the common room. Jhaelindra quickly left before she could be discovered. The weasel brought turmoil with his information. She was going to have to leave the Underdark, and soon. After hearing that both of her brothers, Nym & Kyr, and her younger sister Valaedra, yet lived, she could not remain with the temple. She could not be the one who betrayed them. Jhaelindra only hoped they would have the answers she sought. She quickly and almost absently made her way to the house she had claimed for most of her life. Deep in thought, she almost bumped into a half-orc slave. Inwardly cursing the absentmindedness, she swept quickly by her. She was known for a foul temper, but for a control that was not matched. Preparations had been underway since the cleansing for an escape. Jhaelindra knew the temple would have her killed, or worse, should her true house affiliation ever be discovered, it would bring House Vrinn down as well. Matron Vrinn was the only one left alive ́who ́knew that Jhaelindra was not born to her house. Matron Vrinn would understand and expect her to follow the family. The Matron of Vrinn had been good to her. Jhaelindra had no intention of putting her or her house in danger.
    She made her way through the house, quietly gathering what supplies she knew she would need. Packing as if for a temple mission. Then she made her way to the matron’s sitting hall. She excused herself, telling her matron that she had a contract to fulfill. Requesting formal leave to go. It was a lie, but only a little white one. Yet it was an acceptable reason for her to be gone. One the temple would not look too closely into. The temple must not look into her absence. She had to disappear, quickly.
    Her destination was on the surface and to the south. A coastal town with little population and an island temple floating south of it. The informant spoke of undead wandering the island. Jhaelindra wondered if her siblings would remember her. She figured it didn’t matter and started the long journey. She left Menzoberanzon as stealthily as possible, avoiding the patrols.
           Questions were too sticky. She needed to avoid detection. The trip out of the Underdark was quick and uneventful, thankfully. Because of her training, Jhaelindra could sleep lightly and for no more than two hours at a time. However, such a state of alertness causes deep fatigue. The exit from the Underdark she chose should bring her out near a surface city. There would be an inn and, hopefully, anonymity ́to be found there. Jhaelindra knew she would have to be cautious even then, but perhaps a decent rest could be had there. Unsure of what lay on the road she had ahead, Jhaelindra had enough supplies to live on the road for a month. Hunting and fishing, when possible, could stretch that well into longer.
     She could easily blend into the crowd in any city. Reprovision, and then move on. The target was to reach her siblings before another temple assassin could. Having the advantage of being the only one with knowledge would end soon. Jhaelindra knew the weasel would only hold the info back until his money ran short. Which considering his tastes and ́predilections would not belong. She figured she had a month at the most. Then he would contact the temple and sell it discreetly to another. When he did, she knew she might become the next contract. Killing him, although a satisfying thought, would only bring the attention of the temple sooner. After all, such creatures were always more valuable alive. No, Jhaelindra knew how the game was played.
           She herself played it too well not to. She only hoped Nym, Kyr, and Valaedra remembered the rules. After all, it could mean all their lives.

This one is still in progress but I am inclined to write on it again…so maybe I will have more soon.

Tuesday Tunes

Tuesday Tunes

Lyrics –


[Intro: Addie Nicole]
I’ll bite my tongue ’til it bleeds
Metallic tranquility
The pain gets buried beneath
When I bite my tongue ’til it bleeds

[Verse 1: Addie Nicole]
I know the guilt and shame you hide
Kept your secrets deep inside
I internalized them, blamed myself and
Stepped in the line of fire
Sacrificed myself but why
You resent me every time
So when you point that finger point it at the mirror like

[Chorus: Addie Nicole]
I’ll bite my tongue ’til it bleeds
Mеtallic tranquility
The pain gets buried bеneath
But I’ll bite my tongue ’til it bleeds
‘Til it bleeds

[Verse 2: Bradley Amick]
I could destroy you with one line
And the world would take my side
But I’d never go that low like you seem to go every time
Just be human, fuck your pride
You’re addicted to the fight
I want off this ride so I won’t spend another night

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[Chorus: Addie Nicole & Bradley Amick]
I’ll bite my tongue ’til it bleeds
Metallic tranquility
The pain gets buried beneath
The road is high and it’s steep
I waive white flags, keep the peace
In Eden’s garden of trees
You place the traps, plant the seeds
But I’ll bite my tongue ’til it bleeds

[Bridge: Bradley Amick, Addie Nicole]
Pain, pain, I put you through this
Pain, pain, I put you through
Pain, I put you through this
Pain, I put you through
Enjoy the hell that you need
Deploy the darkness you seek
Destroy yourself without me
I’ll bite my tongue ’til it bleeds

[Pre-Chorus: Addie Nicole]
I know that you don’t believe

[Chorus: Addie Nicole & Bradley Amick]
I’ll bite my tongue ’til it bleeds
Metallic tranquility
The pain gets buried beneath
The road is high and it’s steep
I waive white flags, keep the peace
In Eden’s garden of trees
You place the traps, plant the seeds
But I’ll bite my tongue ’til it bleeds

[Post-Chorus: Addie Nicole]
I’ll bite my tongue ’til it bleeds


My 2 cents –


I actually had a hard choice with this song. There is this version and the official version. The imagery is amazing. I decided to do a volume of cut poetry because of this song. (I have done Cut Poems before but this one made me realize I had a ton more to write). The vocals are amazing.

Monday Poetry

Monday Poetry
Poetry



Cut poems have references… Here is the song list I gathered from for this one…Of Course I added words as needed to make the poem work.

(I’ll bite my tongue til it bleeds by Halocene, Hurt by Johnny Cash, Secret by the Pierces, Sound of Silence by Simon and Garfunkel, Dirty little secret by All-American Rejects, Silence by Grace Carter, Live to Tell by Madonna, Bad Habit by Steve Lacy, Bite my tongue by You me at six)

Sunday Reviews

Sunday Reviews


Following the events of Return of the Jedi: Star Wars: Episode VI, Luke Skywalker, Han Solo, and Princess Leia find themselves once again at the center of rebellion.
 
Five years after the Death Star was destroyed and Darth Vader and the Emperor were defeated, the galaxy is struggling to heal the wounds of war, Leia and Han are married and expecting twins, and Luke has become the first in a long-awaited line of new Jedi Knights.
 
But thousands of light-years away, the last of the Emperor’s warlords—the brilliant and deadly Grand Admiral Thrawn—has taken command of the shattered Imperial fleet, readied it for war, and pointed it at the fragile heart of the New Republic.
 
Meanwhile, Han and Lando Calrissian race against time to find proof of treason inside the highest Republic Council—only to discover instead a ghostly fleet of warships that could bring doom to their friends and victory to their enemies.
 
Yet most dangerous of all is a new Dark Jedi, risen from the ashes of a shrouded past, consumed by bitterness, and scheming to corrupt Luke to the dark side.

I read this series for the first time in middle/high school. This felt like a natural continuation of the story. Admittedly I dislike the third trilogy of movies because it strayed too far from what I felt was the original story. I have reread this trilogy multiple times over the years and enjoy it every time. I usually grab the original covers but for the review it was easier to grab the set version. I am not always into Sci-Fi books but these felt like visiting family. For me the Sci-fi must make sense. These books do.

I have a eclectic taste in books as well as music. The reviews are likely to be for everything from Spicy romance to scary Horror. Young adult and so much more. So, the warning is here – I will be reviewing books that you might want to use caution in reading, and those appropriate for all. Use discretion when reading what I do. 😉

Creativity options

Book Discussion

So The next topic in the group is Front and Back matter.

Okay… Let’s start with the front matter. Every book has certain things. 1. A title Page. 2. A copyright page. 3. when appropriate – a table of contents.
The Title page is fairly basic. It should have the title and the author’s name. You can add details or graphics if you choose but they aren’t necessary. The Copyright page is often simple. Here is what I use:


Copyright © (YEAR) (AUTHOR)
Publisher
All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the publisher except for the use of brief quotations in a book review. This is a work of fiction, any references to historical events, real people, or real places are used fictitiously. Names, characters, and places are products of the author’s imagination.
Publisher
(Address)
Publisher’s website


Some add the ISBN to the copyright page. I do not choose to because each version is supposed to have it’s own ISBN and I don’t want to have multiple document files for the same book.

The Table of Contents is not always appropriate. Some books are not laid out in a manner that have multiple points of Content. So if it is necessary it is simple. You can simply list the contents and if you are feeling inclined add the page numbers where said content is found.

That is literally all of the front matter. Now for Back Matter…

This is up to the author/publisher what to include but some options are:

  • About the Author – a simple Bio perhaps with a picture. (I recommend the Bio be in 3rd person)
  • About the Publisher – much like the About the Author but focusing on the Publishing company.
  • Other Books published by the Author.
  • Ads – Some people sell ad space in their books. This is put in the back matter.
  • Teasers – If the book is part of a series then you can put a teaser for the next book in the back matter.
  • Other books by the publisher…This is a rare thing but when I have done it I listed the Anthologies we did.

Front and Back matter can help get the page count up if the book is smaller. There are occasions that you do not want to add pages though and it should be considered. Amazon will not allow words on the spine unless there is 75 pages. However, Children’s books are not a place where some of the back matter is appropriate. Books need a minimum of 24 pages for Amazon to allow them to be made as a paperback. That is difficult for Children’s books to achieve sometimes. There are other options than Amazon but Amazon also has the widest reach customer wise.

I will discuss the Epub with you Next week. And I am planning on discussing the places that you can publish(that I am aware of.) Soon.

Friday Share

Friday Share

So you found a new book?

Or maybe you just published one?

Did you find a new webcomic that you like?

Or a song you think everyone should hear?

No need for explanation…Just Share it.

You find a good deal that you think we should all see? Just share!

Or hey even a joke you think too fun not to share, Just share it.

Post links in the comments.

Occasionally I will too.

Artsy Fartsy Thursday

Artsy Fartsy Thursday
Arsty Fartsy Thursday

Titled: Ice plain
Artist: Serenity Rose
medium: Digital Landscape
Program Used: Krita

Wednesday Whispers

Serena Mossgraves
Serena Mossgraves