Many of my friends suffer depression,  and I am not untouched by it. Although when asked if I have ever been suicidal,  well only once. When I was given medicine for the depression as a teen, the medicine made me want death.  For me,  i see it different usually.  I have heard other survivors say it,  and truth is really so much more than the words say. I don’t want to die, however on my darkest days,  I do wish I had never been born. Days where the pain feels more than I am able to bear, when the nightmares are stronger than the dreams. Those are the days where I have to recount all i have done. Those are the days when my blessings must be noted. And those are the days when kindness is most needed,  and when I am at my least kind.